Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.
The author's argument that opening a store of health products company Nature's Way, in the town of Plainsville will be very profitable as the people in Plainsville lead a healthy life full of exercising may seem logical at the first glance. The author's conclusion may be true if its premises were to be true. However,in stating his argument the author has made use of assumptions for which there is no supporting avidence and terms that lack definitions.
First of all,the author states that Nature's Way stores are most proifitable in areas where people lead a healthy lifestyle. Here, the author has not defined the healthy lifestyle properly. On one hand,healthy lifestyle may mean that people are concious of the calories they are taking. On the other, it may mean that people are more devoted to regular exercising, sports and physical activity. Similar is the case with health foods and other products. There are those health foods which are calorie and fat free and there are those health foods which provide instant energy to athletes. The author is not clear that which range of health foods accounts for a more significant share of profit to Nature's Way. The Nature's Way stores which are most profitable in cities where a greater proportion of people may be having a healthy exercising lifestyle. However, the larger share of profit may be coming from those, who due their work hours or other committments may not be able to exercise regularly, as result may be going for the calorie and fat-free health foods to be fitter. If the author were to provide evidence which would link the profits directly to the sales of products being consumed by exercise enthusiasts and athletes, it would lend a lot of credibility to his argument.
Secondly,he assumes that the people of Plainsville will be enthusiastic to the idea of using the health products sold by Nature's Way. The people following a healthy life-style through exercises may be more inclined towards consuming natural products like fresh fruits and vegetables to stay fit. If the author had quoted some figures depicting an uprise in the sales of existing health products brands in Plainsville which are consumed by exercise enthusiasts, it would certainly provide corroborating evidence to his argument.
Since,as per the author,schoolchildren in Plainsville are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age. If the the major part of sales of health related products comes from the calorie-free and fat-free food, the future market will not be profitable for the Nature's Way store.
Summing up,the author may be correct in his argument that a Nature's Way store will be profitable in the city of Plainsville which harbours many exercise enthusiasts.However, the author has not provided enough supporting evidence for the assumptions pointed out. As a result,the argument cannot be accepted on face-value in its current state.
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Sentence: If the the major part of sales of health related products comes from the calorie-free and fat-free food, the future market will not be profitable for the Nature's Way store.
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Sentence: However,in stating his argument the author has made use of assumptions for which there is no supporting avidence and terms that lack definitions.
Error: avidence Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First of all,the author states that Nature's Way stores are most proifitable in areas where people lead a healthy lifestyle.
Error: proifitable Suggestion: profitable
Sentence: On one hand,healthy lifestyle may mean that people are concious of the calories they are taking.
Error: concious Suggestion: conscious
Sentence: However, the larger share of profit may be coming from those, who due their work hours or other committments may not be able to exercise regularly, as result may be going for the calorie and fat-free health foods to be fitter.
Error: committments Suggestion: commitments
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 493 350
No. of Characters: 2444 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.712 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.957 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.708 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 186 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.733 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.35 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5