"In order to save a considerable amount of money, Rockingham's century-old town hall should be torn down and replaced by the larger and more energy-efficient building that some citizens have proposed. The old town hall is too small to comfortably accommodate the number of people who are employed by the town. In addition, it is very costly to heat the old hall in winter and cool it in summer. The new, larger building would be more energy efficient, costing less per square foot to heat and cool than the old hall. Furthermore, it would be possible to rent out some of the space in the new building, thereby generating income for the town of Rockingham."
According to the conclusion of the editorial the new and large building in place of old town house is more energy efficient and money saving. Although many points given by the writter regarding the proposal of the new building no doubt is has so many advantages but there are some point are available which are not convencing.Author has ignored to mentioned the some of important points in that respect. the author has completely ignore to give the evidence in respect of the calculation about money saving and comfortable accomodation. What was stated in his writting is just look like a observation. He is not giving any single substanciation in respect of the overall proposal. he only gives a general satement and which is not agreealble. For eg. he is writting about two differant issue one is about the cost and the other is about the size of old town hall. the both issues are not related to each other. he is tried to said about the need of the town but simulteniously he neglected to give the alternative on that issues.
The first point is the authour is talking about the more efficient and large and energy efficient building. According to him the it would cost less to cool and heat the new building as compare to the old building.But he forget to mention that if the small old building is taking so much cost to heat aand cool then it is obvious that the large building take the much more cost to heat and cool that building. And he also forget the cost for complete that building, cost for installing the machines for that new building, cost of appliances, and finally the cost of maintenance. If we calculate that it is huge in amount.
The second point is that the writter is talking about the space in old town house which is not comfortably accomodate to the town people. If we take a this issue it is not related to the energy efficiency. It only relate to the space. And writter is not taking that issue for his base of argument. The effective solution of this problem is to adding a more space or any internal arrengemet.
The third point is that the writter is talking about the renting out some of the space in the new building for generating income for the town of Rockingham. Writter is fail to understand that the Rockhingham old town hall has a historical value. He is not thinking to preserve the heritage of the town but he is talking about fully commercialization. If he think that the town house is very small in space and taking more energy to heat and cold the new building is not a valid proposal. The town of Rockhingham is not need in commercialisation.
Hence the author need more constructive and valid proposition, and statistical estimate and comparision regarding to the cost of energy efficiency in old town house and in new town house to prove his statement. And the author needs more logical evidence to complete his statement.
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Sentence: Although many points given by the writter regarding the proposal of the new building no doubt is has so many advantages but there are some point are available which are not convencing.Author has ignored to mentioned the some of important points in that respect. the author has completely ignore to give the evidence in respect of the calculation about money saving and comfortable accomodation.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and mentioned
Sentence: For eg. he is writting about two differant issue one is about the cost and the other is about the size of old town hall. the both issues are not related to each other. he is tried to said about the need of the town but simulteniously he neglected to give the alternative on that issues.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and said
Sentence: According to him the it would cost less to cool and heat the new building as compare to the old building.But he forget to mention that if the small old building is taking so much cost to heat aand cool then it is obvious that the large building take the much more cost to heat and cool that building.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to the and it
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to as and compare
Description: The fragment he forget to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace forget with verb, past tense
Sentence: If we take a this issue it is not related to the energy efficiency.
Description: The token a is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to a and this
Sentence: Writter is fail to understand that the Rockhingham old town hall has a historical value.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and fail
Sentence: If he think that the town house is very small in space and taking more energy to heat and cold the new building is not a valid proposal.
Description: The fragment he think that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace think with verb, past tense
Sentence: Although many points given by the writter regarding the proposal of the new building no doubt is has so many advantages but there are some point are available which are not convencing.Author has ignored to mentioned the some of important points in that respect. the author has completely ignore to give the evidence in respect of the calculation about money saving and comfortable accomodation.
Error: accomodation Suggestion: accommodation
Error: writter Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: convencing Suggestion: convening
Sentence: What was stated in his writting is just look like a observation.
Error: writting Suggestion: writing
Sentence: He is not giving any single substanciation in respect of the overall proposal. he only gives a general satement and which is not agreealble.
Error: agreealble Suggestion: agreeable
Error: satement Suggestion: statement
Sentence: For eg. he is writting about two differant issue one is about the cost and the other is about the size of old town hall. the both issues are not related to each other. he is tried to said about the need of the town but simulteniously he neglected to give the alternative on that issues.
Error: simulteniously Suggestion: simultaneously
Error: differant Suggestion: different
Error: writting Suggestion: writing
Sentence: The first point is the authour is talking about the more efficient and large and energy efficient building.
Error: authour Suggestion: author
Sentence: The second point is that the writter is talking about the space in old town house which is not comfortably accomodate to the town people.
Error: writter Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: accomodate Suggestion: accommodate
Sentence: And writter is not taking that issue for his base of argument.
Error: writter Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The effective solution of this problem is to adding a more space or any internal arrengemet.
Error: arrengemet Suggestion: arrangement
Sentence: The third point is that the writter is talking about the renting out some of the space in the new building for generating income for the town of Rockingham.
Error: writter Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The town of Rockhingham is not need in commercialisation.
Error: commercialisation Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Hence the author need more constructive and valid proposition, and statistical estimate and comparision regarding to the cost of energy efficiency in old town house and in new town house to prove his statement.
Error: comparision Suggestion: comparison
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 17 2
Always capitalize the first letter of a sentence.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 17 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 514 350
No. of Characters: 2325 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.761 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.523 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.623 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.476 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.48 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.173 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5