RGUMENT:"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once
The author recommendation that the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil is a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism in first glance looks convincible. But close scrutiny shows that this recommendation is rife with assumptions and unanswered questions. First of all, all unanswered questions should be clarified then only this claim can be said to hold true.
First of all weather condition of both the places should be given, and then only we can compare these two cities. If both these city have same weather and environmental condition, then only comparison between these cities can be made. First of all complete statistic of number of people getting cold should be mention. Authors assume that people not reporting of cold in hospital means that they do not suffer from cold at all. It might have been possible that people think that cold is a small ailment which may get cured on its own, and they do not go to doctor. To clearly prove his argument, author should have given the statistic about the attendance of people in that city. If absenteeism is very less in that area, then authors argument would have been strengthen where as if it is not then it would have weaken the authors argument.
Second assumption made by author is that cold is the only major reason for the absenteeism. It might have been plausible that people were lying and not giving the real reason for not coming. It might have been the case that they were enjoying or relaxing in their home.
Lastly author assumes that by use of nutritional supplement derived from fish oil would result in fewer absentees. The link between cold and fish oil is no where mention by doctors approval. It cannot be assumed to increase the attendance surely.
First of all author must answer these entire question. All answers strengthen the author’s recommendation then only one can say it could increase attendance at work place.
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Sentence: The author recommendation that the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil is a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism in first glance looks convincible.
Error: convincible Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Remove repetitive words like 'First of all'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1566 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.745 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.512 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.783 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5