"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate.
In the above statement, the author states that Buckingham college should increase their number of dormitories. But, the author is stating based on the future trends and not stating about the current needs. Hence, the above statement requires more reasons to persuade the concerned person to make a decision about the given memo.
The author states that in 50 years the rate of enrollment will increase. But, he has not mentioned how many dorms are available for the current students. If students enroll then students will also graduate and go out of the college making room for new students. The author has not provided proper statistics about the current enrollment details and number of students graduating each year. Building new dormitories ahead of 50 years its waste of time and resources, because during that course of time it is quite possible for other colleges to perform better than Buckingham college.
The author talks about the average rent but does not give a specific , number of how much it has risen. If the rent has increased by only a small number than it might not effect students as the increase will be small. The author also does not give enough details as to how many students leave on-campus and off-campus; The author does not give any details about the on-campus leaving expenses so that we can have a comparison and have a clear idea of whether the off-campus expenses are more than on-campus.
Lastly, the author assumes that having new dormitories in the campus attracts more students. The main priority for any student who wants to attend college is finding a program in which he/she is interested, checks the tuition fee, city and maybe or may not be the dormitories. But, surely no student will want to have his education in a college which has new dormitories but old syllabus and not good faculty. Hence, dormitories maybe the last thing he/she might look up. So, assuming that having new dormitories will increase the number of students admission is certainly a misconception and not a valid reason to make a decision about building new dormitories.
Hence, in order to consider the proposal, the director of the student housing should give enough details to come to conclusion of whether to build a new dormitory or not. Hence, because of the above reasons, the memo is specious and needs more research and valid reasons.
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Sentence: Building new dormitories ahead of 50 years its waste of time and resources, because during that course of time it is quite possible for other colleges to perform better than Buckingham college.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to Building and new
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to years and its
Sentence: So, assuming that having new dormitories will increase the number of students admission is certainly a misconception and not a valid reason to make a decision about building new dormitories.
Description: The token that is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', present participle or gerund
Suggestion: no two verb in one sentence
Sentence: Hence, in order to consider the proposal, the director of the student housing should give enough details to come to conclusion of whether to build a new dormitory or not.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a conjunction, subordinating
Suggestion: Refer to of and whether
Sentence: The author also does not give enough details as to how many students leave on-campus and off-campus; The author does not give any details about the on-campus leaving expenses so that we can have a comparison and have a clear idea of whether the off-campus expenses are more than on-campus.
Error: on-campus Suggestion: campus
Error: off-campus Suggestion: off campus
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flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Check out what is 'Discourse Markers'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 to 5.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 402 350
No. of Characters: 1918 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.478 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.771 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.474 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.428 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.573 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5