"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
The author that Adam's Realty is better than Fitch Realty due to the numbers of agent, the number of averaged sales and the speed of sell. However, we cannot accept the author argument with certainty because of several reasons which will be presented in the following.
First of all, even though the number of agents in Fitch Realty is fewer than Adam Realty, which is 25 compared to 40, there is no clue that the agents of Fitch Realty is in the same quality with those of Adam Realty. It is probably Fitch employ high quality agents, so even if compared to 40 agents of Adam Realty, they both are at the same level. The author have to make sure that the agents of Adams and Fitch are the same quality of people such as by showing their degree.
Secondly, the author mentioned that the revenue and the home sales of Adams Realty is much higher than those of Fitch realty. To judge one is better, we must make sure that what they do are in the same subject. The author failed to present the information about the size, the quality, or location about the stuff provided by Adams and by Fitch. It is probably that the homes provided by Adams Realty is bigger or better in quality or more strategic in location. That information is important for the prize of a house.
Last but not least, the author mentioned the speed of sales of Adams is quicker than Fitch due to his experience 10 years ago. This argument is clearly unfounded if we want to talk about the condition today. The condition in 10 years ago can change dramatically to the condition today. To give a cogent proof, the author must provide the survey done todays to both realties.
To conclude, to compare one is better than the other, we must look them at the same perspective of view and standardization.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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| 2013-12-27 | souparnika | 67 | view |
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Sentence: It is probably that the homes provided by Adams Realty is bigger or better in quality or more strategic in location.
Description: The fragment is probably that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace probably with adjective
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 322 350
No. of Characters: 1411 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.236 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.382 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.212 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 49 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.402 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.615 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5