The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in goverent, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation , not competition
The speaker states that the best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. While I agree with the speaker that a sense of cooperation is important to prepare young people for leadership, a sense of competition is equally important.
Competition between different organization is often responsible for groundbraking innovation. For instance, when president John F Kennedy rallied the whole country and congress to fund the project of moon exploration in response to soviet union space exploration programme, through which many things we commonly use today like welcro, were invented. Because there is competition amongst various companies in a free market economy, where companies compete for more buyers and we often get products at a cheaper price. Difficult competition often produces the best of leaders, who in turn lead various organisations forward and towards the direction of innovation.
If we prepare our young leaders by instilling in them only a sense of cooperation and not competition, the when the time comes to perform, they may falter because they wont be able to handle the intense competiton and the pressure that leading an organisation creates. Competiton creates the best of leaders by testing them in difficult times. Competition however must be combined with cooperation to proudce the best results.For example at a university students do compete against each other but they also cooperate amongst themselves as required for various group projects and assignments. Such a scenerio is ideal, where students learn to balance both factors.
To sum up, instilling a sense of competition amongst young people is as much important as instilling a sense of cooperation, because in an ever advancing world, both are necessary to win.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 651, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ons forward and towards the direction of innovation. If we prepare our young l...
^^
Line 5, column 107, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... of cooperation and not competition, the when the time comes to perform, they may...
^^
Line 5, column 428, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...cooperation to proudce the best results.For example at a university students do com...
^^^
Line 5, column 666, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...students learn to balance both factors. To sum up, instilling a sense of competi...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, so, still, while, for example, for instance, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.5258426966 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.4196629213 16% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 33.0505617978 48% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 58.6224719101 68% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 12.9106741573 178% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1591.0 2235.4752809 71% => OK
No of words: 296.0 442.535393258 67% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.375 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14784890444 4.55969084622 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05977213747 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 215.323595506 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.564189189189 0.4932671777 114% => OK
syllable_count: 495.9 704.065955056 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 6.24550561798 16% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.2370786517 54% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.3354744225 60.3974514979 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.636363636 118.986275619 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.9090909091 23.4991977007 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.54545454545 5.21951772744 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.49357431774 0.243740707755 202% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.178567698404 0.0831039109588 215% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.188917383938 0.0758088955206 249% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.310718841347 0.150359130593 207% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.22882988668 0.0667264976115 343% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 14.1392134831 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.8420337079 75% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.22 12.1639044944 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.03 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 100.480337079 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.8971910112 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.