Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.
(Manhattan Prep Practice Test 2 Issue Essay)
The author concludes that because many young people's dreams are inherently selfish, more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals. This may seem logical at first glance, but it is hasty to reason that because many dreams are selfish, the dream is not a worthy goal. Are many goals selfish in nature? I would argue yes -- life is survival for the fittest and one must look out for oneself. However, the claim and reason are unfounded and do not take into account that selfish dreams can be worthy.
First and foremost, the claim that the author states concludes that more emphasis should be placed on "worthy" goals. However, there is no clear definition of a "worthy" goal. It can be implied from the claim and reason that “worthy” goals are non-selfish, but even in that case, it is not necessarily true that people should follow dreams based on the impact that the dreams would have on society. For example, many young people’s goals are simply to have a good career and live comfortably, which are commendable and common goals.
However, the reason on which the claim is based is agreeable in most respects. For example, many people's goals in life are based around pecuniary motives. Even if one’s dream is to study at an Ivy League university, the end goal is a high return on one’s college investment through an increase in compensation compared to the salary that a person with a high school diploma might have. One might argue that some dreams people follow on their own free will such as alleviating poverty or protecting endangered species; however, money is usually donated for these projects and is an incentive to follow these goals. Many would not continue to do projects like these for free. Many people’s dreams are grounded in avariciousness and are inherently selfish.
In conclusion, the claim and reason from which it is based is disagreeable since they both fail to take into account that many dreams are not selfish and people often pick worthy causes or goals.
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Comments
What should I put for the
What should I put for the third body paragraph? I always have a hard time coming up with something to write about. Also, is it okay that I agree with the reason but not the claim?
In the third body paragraph,
In the third body paragraph, you need to moderate your position -- give some credits for the side you don't agree with.
See discussions here:
http://testbig.com/question/gre-issue-essay-questions-new-gre-issue-ess…
two samples:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/main-benefit-study-history-dispel…
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/nation-should-require-all-its-stu…
flaws:
No. of Words: 342 350
No. of Different Words: 161 200
You may put one more paragraph for arguments though you did them pretty well.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 342 350
No. of Characters: 1608 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.702 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.313 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.118 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5