High schools should eliminate their art and music programs to make room for more extensivestudies in mathematics and English. Test scores in mathematics and English are of paramountinterest to the colleges most students wish to attend, while art and music

Essay topics:

High schools should eliminate their art and music programs to make room for more extensive
studies in mathematics and English. Test scores in mathematics and English are of paramount
interest to the colleges most students wish to attend, while art and music classes are mere
electives of little use to students who do not intend to pursue careers in such creative fields.
Write a response that expresses the degree to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason
or reasons that underlie the claim

At a first glance, the idea of prioritizing mathematics and English studies at high schools makes some sense. Most standardized tests demand only those. However, a more in-depth analysis can show some good reasons to keep those classes.

First of all, some of the most renowned colleges take into account the electives and activities that a student did, beside the basics. A good grade on standardized tests is necessary, but to lots of universities, not enough for one to be accepted. So even just in the optics of getting students into top notch universities, there are still reasons to keep those electives.

Besides that, some studies show, that arts and music are very good to develop creativity, which is very positive in the formation of a student. Not only that, but they can also have an important effect in opening people's minds. Nowadays, more than ever, it is vital for people to live in society to have an open mind. In my view, a high school aim is not only to prepare the students to be accepted in an university, but also to form good citizens.

So for all the reasons stated above, I strongly disagree with the claim that high schools should eliminate their art and music programs.

Votes
Average: 3.3 (1 vote)
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Post date Users Rates Link to Content
2019-04-28 erik_fujiyama 33 view
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 301, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: top-notch
... in the optics of getting students into top notch universities, there are still reasons t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 403, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... prepare the students to be accepted in an university, but also to form good citiz...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, however, so, still, first of all, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.5258426966 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.4196629213 24% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.3162921348 53% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 33.0505617978 39% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 58.6224719101 55% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 1.0 12.9106741573 8% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1001.0 2235.4752809 45% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 209.0 442.535393258 47% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.78947368421 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.80221413058 4.55969084622 83% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58807007794 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 127.0 215.323595506 59% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.607655502392 0.4932671777 123% => OK
syllable_count: 317.7 704.065955056 45% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.2370786517 54% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.2453287928 60.3974514979 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 91.0 118.986275619 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0 23.4991977007 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45454545455 5.21951772744 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249592472104 0.243740707755 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0816714948161 0.0831039109588 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0698026598011 0.0758088955206 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149260009361 0.150359130593 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0654005355539 0.0667264976115 98% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.1392134831 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 12.1639044944 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 45.0 100.480337079 45% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.

Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.