An international development organization in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A While seeds for this new type of millet cost more farmers will be paid

Essay topics:

An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.

The prompt has stated that combating vitamin A deficiency among the impoverished people of Tagus is predicated on the government's support in promoting the adoption of a new millet breed among local farmers. The author has established this recommendation based on the adoption of millet as a staple food, by the people, and that farmers will be paid subsidies to farm the new variety of millet. However, for this recommendation to be accurately evaluated, the following two key questions need to be answered.

To start off, how much is the said subsidy worth when compared to the cost of the millet and the overall profit margin? In other words, will the subsidy considerably offset the millet cost with room for enough gain for the farmer? The author has erroneously assumed that the subsidies will be sufficient for the farmers to cultivate this new millet and still have enough returns. Perhaps, the subsidy is a paltry sum that just barely defrays the cost to the farmer with no commensurate returns. If this holds true, then the recommendation does not hold merit. Consequently, the farmers will not cultivate the millet seeds, which will definitely not yield the predicted results.

Furthermore, have the new millet breeds been tested and validated for human consumption by appropriate authorities? That millet is already a staple food, does not make a new breed automatically safe for consumption. It is possible that the engineered breed of millet may cause health concerns if consumed. The argument does not state whether the millet has been vetted safe for consumption by authorities. If this is the case, then the prediction cannot occur since no one will want to have strange foods on their menu.

In conclusion, the prediction is considerably flawed and will not lead to the proposed result. If the aforementioned questions are addressed, then the author's position can be bolstered and it can be properly evaluated. More investigations have to be made into the new millet breed and the highlighted concerns before steps can be taken to promote it among the farmers of Tagus.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The prompt has stated that combating vit...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o key questions need to be answered. To start off, how much is the said subsi...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ely not yield the predicted results. Furthermore, have the new millet breeds ...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to have strange foods on their menu. In conclusion, the prediction is conside...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, furthermore, however, if, may, still, then, in conclusion, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 33.0505617978 45% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 58.6224719101 61% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1751.0 2235.4752809 78% => OK
No of words: 345.0 442.535393258 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07536231884 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90797598023 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 215.323595506 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.498550724638 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 537.3 704.065955056 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.1881624225 60.3974514979 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 103.0 118.986275619 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2941176471 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.11764705882 5.21951772744 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.415368251765 0.243740707755 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131385582464 0.0831039109588 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0851671423071 0.0758088955206 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.254635832984 0.150359130593 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0740865892286 0.0667264976115 111% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.1392134831 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 100.480337079 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.