The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Every individual leads disparate lives in their lifetime, based on their family background, educational attainments, wealth condition, and the place they reside in. All of these, and several other internal and external factors determine the particular lifestyle a person has. Life of a rich and priviledged person is quite different than a person with poor and underpriviledged circumstances. Whether a person is strong and independent, at its worth, depends on the aforementioned internal and external factors, and there are some factors that can be daunting for the person to lead such a life. That being said, I mostly agree with this assertion that wealth and priviledge can create an obstacle for a person in becoming strong and independent, for two reasons. However, that may not be the case all the time, as in some people's lives, these luxuries and convenient elements of life can shape the person to be sound and logical that may provide the choice or opportunity to be self-dependent.
First of all, from childhood to adulthood, a person goes through various stages and has to depend on heterogenous elements in life that shape the perspectives of that individual. In the attempt to be strong-minded, a person needs to comprehend the lives of people who don't have the luxury and conveniences in life. If that person himself/herself is surrounded by luxury/priviledged products such as a car, expensive homes with modern appliances that are convenient for him/her, that person may not be able to understand his counterpart's struggle to use local transportation, and to live in an impoverished house with very little benefits. When a person has to struggle like this, it will create a motivation or strong will using his/her own efforts to change his/her circumstances which lead to an independent lifestyle in the future. For instance, the ex-governer of Bangladesh Bank, Mr. Atiur Rahman, was an orphan and lived with his uncle in a very impoverished state. From his childhood, he wanted to become someone with great merit which ultimately led him to work hard, study dilligently and get to the position he is in right now. This indicate that living with less luxury and convenience can be a good thing to augment the sheer will to reach a certain level of strength and independence.
Secondly, there are various cases where luxury and a convenient lifestyle have a negative effect on people who ultimately become overly dependent on these things that they cannot function without them. For instance, research demonstrates that many rich kids of billionaire or millionaire parents are spoilt, and arrogant. Their proximity to display their richness, being addicted to buying unnecessary luxury products and ability to depend on servants in the house prevents them from becoming self-dependent and even-tempered which hampers their sound judgment. This leads to a lot of teenagers to commit criminal activity which they think is not a big deal since they have rich and influential parents to rely on. For example, the spoilt son of a huge conglomerate running gold jwellery business in Bangladesh raped a girl, and got away without facing any severe punishment. This kind of scenario fuels the idea that their priviledged enough to avoid any negative repurcussions, indicating a lack of strong and independent mindset which is resulted from overly depending on luxuries and convenient lifestyle.
However, this assertion that priviledge creates an hindrance in making someone strong, may not apply to everyone. For instance, in the case of Elon Musk, who had the world's worth amount of luxury and convenient supply of support every step of the way from his childhood. Despite that, he has a strong perspective and independent lifestyle that impact the mainstream people around him in a good way that he can present his ideas on his own sheer will and make those ideas into reality with his own hardwork. Despite this kind of cases, it is imperative to comprehend the impact of richness and priviledges on general people in the shaping of a person's mindset and lifestyle. That being said the idea that this can prevent a person to become strong and independent holds water.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 334, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...d priviledged person is quite different than a person with poor and underpriviledged...
^^^^
Line 3, column 269, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...s to comprehend the lives of people who dont have the luxury and conveniences in lif...
^^^^
Line 3, column 670, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to like'
Suggestion: to like
...benefits. When a person has to struggle like this, it will create a motivation or st...
^^^^
Line 3, column 724, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'use'
Suggestion: use
...will create a motivation or strong will using his/her own efforts to change his/her c...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 49, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... this assertion that priviledge creates an hindrance in making someone strong, may...
^^
Line 7, column 644, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...s on general people in the shaping of a persons mindset and lifestyle. That being said ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, as to, for example, for instance, kind of, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.4196629213 121% => OK
Conjunction : 36.0 14.8657303371 242% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 30.0 11.3162921348 265% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 69.0 33.0505617978 209% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 99.0 58.6224719101 169% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3507.0 2235.4752809 157% => OK
No of words: 684.0 442.535393258 155% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12719298246 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.11403887952 4.55969084622 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99287074821 2.79657885939 107% => OK
Unique words: 328.0 215.323595506 152% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479532163743 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 1091.7 704.065955056 155% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 6.24550561798 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 23.0359550562 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 51.1283617477 60.3974514979 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.125 118.986275619 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.5 23.4991977007 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.875 5.21951772744 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172593969684 0.243740707755 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0539909288358 0.0831039109588 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0357013918505 0.0758088955206 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113265282272 0.150359130593 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0228930987366 0.0667264976115 34% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 14.1392134831 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.8420337079 88% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.1743820225 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 12.1639044944 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 157.0 100.480337079 156% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.2143820225 118% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.