The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
How often do you hear that today's luxuries and conveniences have a negative impact on our possibility to be really strong and independent? Many of us tend to blame these technological and cultural achievements for our passive and disinterested behavior; however, from my point of view the luxuries and conveniences of today society do not prevent our development, perhaps, some of these indispensable achievement may even contribute into creation truly independent and strong individual.
To begin with, the arguer of the issue avers that "the luxuries and conveniences" has impede our developing into footloose and strong persons, consequently, people who were not surrounded by them should be truly independent. However, is this statement hold true? We may look at the Middle Ages may we aver that the people of the era were indeed independent? The answer is complicated due to the fact that dwellers of the Middle age may live in the wild nature then less depend on society at the same time, they were easily manipulated by Catholic Church. In other words, although they were closer to nature, they were not able to make own judgment and thus they were not truly independent.
At the same time, a supporter of the author's claim may state that we may see many people in today's world who are passive and needy. However, the answer perhaps is that we have a deal with correlation/ causation mistake. In other words some other unstated factors impact on our developing into truly independent individuals, to prove this statement we may look at modernity it bring us such individuals as Martin Luther King and Mr. Putin. Although their actions have different impact on the mankind, it seems that both of them are strong and independent persons. Of course, these are names of only famous and well-known individuals, I believe that number of strong individuals is huge and we can see how the world around us has changed during a short period of time. These changes are made by people who have will and strength to do it, for example, the same gender marriage, the significant decline in rate of children death from curable diseases and poverty.
I strongly believe that these changes are fruits of one of modern luxuries - education. The education used to be a privilege of rich and influential. However, in the XX century it has become widespread, the literacy is only of the indispensable dignity of society which give an opportunity to become truly independent via absorbing knowledge and information. Since the French revolution knowledge and education has become an engine of our development, of course, some people do not use this gift but it is because of their personal characteristics.
In conclusion, despite that many of us believe that modern luxuries and conveniences have negative impact on our developing, I strongly believe that they may help in our struggle to become truly footloose and strong especially education and science give us indispensable opportunity to become truly independent and be able to do for ourselves.
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argument 1 -- not OK. suppose A: the arguer of the issue avers that "the luxuries and conveniences" has impede our developing into footloose and strong persons,
B: people who were not surrounded by them should be truly independent.
from A, how can you get B?
argument 2 -- the argument is OK, but the examples are not good: Martin Luther King and Mr. Putin
argument 3 -- it is 'contemporary life' , so you used the wrong examples.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2484 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.948 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 12.622 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.19 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5