People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
The prompt recommends that the people's attitude is generally not by their own intention but due to the circumstances in their milieu. Reading through the lines some events trigger my mind and as I think more deeper and rationally over the given statement, I mostly agree with this suggestion and argue that both people's own thoughts and external situation govern their behaviour. I state the following reasons to justify my stand.
To begin, people, may it be school or college going students, employees, employers, doctors, professors, engineers or scientist, all have work load on them. Apart from their assigned task, they are also engaged in various other activities or task. Their success or failures in performing their chores determines their mood, hence these people tend to be more capricious. For instance, we have all gone to schools, whenever a school going student returns to home in afternoon, his mother could easily identify if the child is happy or sad by reading his face expression and actions. A student would generally be sad for several reasons; if he has scored less marks or if he had scuffle with his friends, his assignment or homework could not be submitted in time and so on, or be happy if eveything went perfect. Similarily, we can see this same situation when our father return from their office inevening, they tend to be happy if their project goes smoothly else be tense all the time. So, from these examples it is clearly evident that it is the external factors that determines one's situation.
Contemporarily, in order to face the growing competion in our fields like a warrior and similarily enjoy the life, one has to be fervid from inside. He or she should not let their office work reflect on their personal life. Let us take an example of our mother, she does multifarious jobs, performs household chores, cooks, ensures lardess is filled with all the ingredients, goes to market, takes care of her parents, children and husband, apart from all these she goes to office as well. It is very manifest from this that peple need to keep their emotion; love and anger, in their own place. One needs to be internally strong and determined to think before whatever he or she does, when one leaves office he has to forget everything and let all the thoughts related to it drain out of brain, so that he can spend a happy time with his family. If a disbalance is created, then it can contort one's life and he cannot live his life to the fullest. People's behaviour is in their own hand, if they let external factors to mold their behaviour, it can be detrimental.
In Conclusion, I would like to restate that I mostly agree with the given prompt and suggest that people's behaviour are not solely dependent on external factors but they are also equally responsible for it.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 32, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
The prompt recommends that the peoples attitude is generally not by their own ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 204, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'deeper' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: deeper
...e events trigger my mind and as I think more deeper and rationally over the given statement...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 654, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun marks is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...d for several reasons; if he has scored less marks or if he had scuffle with his fri...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1082, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...is the external factors that determines ones situation. Contemporarily, in ord...
^^^^
Line 9, column 895, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...balance is created, then it can contort ones life and he cannot live his life to the...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, so, then, well, apart from, as to, for instance, i think, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 14.8657303371 168% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 73.0 33.0505617978 221% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 58.6224719101 94% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2332.0 2235.4752809 104% => OK
No of words: 486.0 442.535393258 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79835390947 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69525374022 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57413246291 2.79657885939 92% => OK
Unique words: 255.0 215.323595506 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.524691358025 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 711.9 704.065955056 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 6.24550561798 224% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 23.0359550562 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.754932029 60.3974514979 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.555555556 118.986275619 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0 23.4991977007 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.44444444444 5.21951772744 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.16668479545 0.243740707755 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.067544049831 0.0831039109588 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.077069119382 0.0758088955206 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109277771989 0.150359130593 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0506451650561 0.0667264976115 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.1392134831 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.8420337079 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.1743820225 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 12.1639044944 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 100.480337079 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.2143820225 114% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.