Human make their own life through taking actions through their whole life. Their each action consists of their lives. When we think of the cause of these actions, many people’s behavior can be made based on complex factors. To define the meaning of outer force that determine people’s behavior, the outer force can be considered as the most important factor that make decision in final stage to behave. In my view, I would like to say that people’s behavior is led by their own making. This is because people’s behavior cannot be made by outer force from a human and if many people determine their behavior through any forces, there cannot exist various people in today’s society.
If the statement asserts the view in case of doctrine government or a colony, it is natural that most of behavior of citizens are pressed and thus their action to represent their think is restricted. It is undeniable since people under a dictatorship regime or a colonial rule will be even killed by their action to present their thinking against to their rule of domination. Thus almost every behavior of people in these nation is determined through supervising from their government. Likewise, the specific case in which some force make people to think and act in same way implies that people’s behavior can be determined by force. However, in my view, it is not generalized situation in most democratic society in present.
Firstly, in modern society that is consisted of most democratic nations, people can voice their own thinking and present their own action freely. In this context, people’s behavior can be made by their own belief from activities in individual life to serious political activities in group. From many source in social media, there are various data to help people to determine their behavior. The political issues or individual activities can be affected by articles or discussion through Facebook or Instagram. But this phenomenon does not mean that these source determine people’s behavior. For instance, the supervising articles or text in social media from government cannot determine people’s political opinion but only give options to choice on people’s behavior. Likewise, the atmosphere that people can present their own behavior freely make the situation that each citizen determine their own opinion based on affluent data. This is the result from people’s developed ability to use complex and various data while using the Internet.
Second, If force determine people’s behavior largely, there cannot be various opinion and phenomenon caused by people’s behavior. If people’s behavior largely determined by some force, the leader in a nation can be dictator very easily. By making media from TV to newspaper to inform most news to make him as king of a nation, each leader in every nation can be a permanent king like in past. For example of 1960’s in Korea, president can be reelected through restriction of media and military. But in the modern society there are no case of this phenomenon worldwide except some nation to follow partisan. Thus each society is consists of many opinions and behavior to represent their own benefit and thus each of them develop harmoniously.
Through these two things, I can mention that many people’s behavior cannot be determined largely by force. In the democratic society, there are no one who decide to act by other’s force. Also various voices and activities that consists of society implies that people cannot act largely by force. People in modern society can benefit from an amount of data through many information and thus their behavior is made by their own needs, making our society more various.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 377, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ng against to their rule of domination. Thus almost every behavior of people in thes...
^^^^
Line 3, column 417, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this nation' or 'these nations'?
Suggestion: this nation; these nations
...Thus almost every behavior of people in these nation is determined through supervising from ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 400, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the past'?
Suggestion: in the past
...ery nation can be a permanent king like in past. For example of 1960's in Korea, p...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 628, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... except some nation to follow partisan. Thus each society is consists of many opinio...
^^^^
Line 9, column 198, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ho decide to act by other's force. Also various voices and activities that cons...
^^^^
Line 9, column 375, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
... benefit from an amount of data through many information and thus their behavior is ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 375, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[2]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much information', 'a good deal of information'.
Suggestion: much information; a good deal of information
... benefit from an amount of data through many information and thus their behavior is made by thei...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, likewise, second, so, thus, while, for example, for instance, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.4196629213 161% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 33.0505617978 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 98.0 58.6224719101 167% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3154.0 2235.4752809 141% => OK
No of words: 603.0 442.535393258 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.23051409619 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9554069778 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82076828971 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 215.323595506 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.381426202322 0.4932671777 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 993.6 704.065955056 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.4636454265 60.3974514979 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.75862069 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7931034483 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.86206896552 5.21951772744 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 7.80617977528 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236385947968 0.243740707755 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0885624730558 0.0831039109588 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0493502294829 0.0758088955206 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164561927461 0.150359130593 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0338864992396 0.0667264976115 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.1392134831 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.1639044944 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 100.480337079 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.