Has increased efficiency contributed by developed technologies leaded people to have more leisure time?
And is it the main goal of progress of technology?
Some argues that it is true that a way of people live has incredibly ameliorated due to the efficiency following technology growth, others mentions it is obvious that technologies have brought merits in various fields but also a variety of side effects such as expanded labor time and poor work environments.
In my view, however, I disagree with the statement.
Obviously, It can be said that increased productivity had contributed to amplify efficiency which definitely had changed the way how people deal with their daily lives.
For example, In the past before modernization, most people who needed thick clothes for upcoming winter had to gather cotton, threads, and buttons from wild nature or interchange with their neighbors who had it.
Then they fabricated clothes with various making tools themselves.
To the contrast, this sequential process has been simplified and segmentized these days.
Each companies and groups performs allocated stage; importing resources, making items, providing products to people.
Consequently, this mass-manufacturing process has improved efficiency incredibly, which finally help people's lives more abundant.
However, although increased efficiency has leaded into luxurious lives, the leisure time people enjoy has been frozen, even diminished.
what could be the main factors which has decreased leisure time?
I suppose that increased effectiveness simultaneosly worsen labor circumstances.
Thanks to the developed technology, people can work with their smartphone on a transportation while they come to work with a advanced communication technology.
And the elevated efficiency promotes employers to anticipate maximized products, which explicitly requires much more struggles to meet increased company's target comparing to the past.
Furthermore, the more technologies advanced, the more convoluted and abtruse skills are needed for most employees to manipulate at work, which cause people to do excessive study after leaving work during, perhaps, their leisure time.
Another point of disagreement with the speaker is the claim that the main purpose of advanced technology should be to provide maximum leisure time.
In our society, there are plenty of fields that applying much more important outcomes of advanced technology, not merely securing leisure time.
For example, people nowdays could be diagnosed easily with the help of medical and bio-engineering when they caught diseases.
And through the advent of communication technology, most students can be provided much better quality of education regardless of geological restrictions.
Also, when looking at powerplant regarding constant supplies of electricity for imperative infrastructures such as hospital, school, it implicits that chemistry and engineering are used for sustaining our social based facilities.
In short, the use of technology in the above-mentioned sectors is more vital to society than providing leisure time.
Consequently, the statement that technology should be primarily used to reserve leisure time is clearly questionable.
In fact, a reality runs opposite way that the leisure time has not expanded, rather diminished because of technology.
And the main purpose of technology should be for fundamental values : Health, Education, Safety.
- The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people s efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time 66
- Claim Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive Reason It is primarily in cities that a nation s cultural traditions are preserved and generated
- Claim Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive Reason It is primarily in cities that a nation s cultural traditions are preserved and generated
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 14, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...njoy has been frozen, even diminished. what could be the main factors which has dec...
^^^^
Line 16, column 124, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...sportation while they come to work with a advanced communication technology. And...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, furthermore, however, if, look, regarding, so, then, while, for example, i suppose, in fact, in short, such as, in my view, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.3162921348 168% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 58.6224719101 106% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2963.0 2235.4752809 133% => OK
No of words: 504.0 442.535393258 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.87896825397 5.05705443957 116% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73813722054 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12734397927 2.79657885939 112% => OK
Unique words: 281.0 215.323595506 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.55753968254 0.4932671777 113% => OK
syllable_count: 908.1 704.065955056 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.2370786517 124% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.6657201391 60.3974514979 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.52 118.986275619 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.16 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.72 5.21951772744 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 25.0 4.97078651685 503% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.398933301355 0.243740707755 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114200522044 0.0831039109588 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0952230890386 0.0758088955206 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114200522044 0.150359130593 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0952230890386 0.0667264976115 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.1392134831 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.26 48.8420337079 70% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.5 12.1743820225 111% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.82 12.1639044944 138% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.61 8.38706741573 115% => OK
difficult_words: 159.0 100.480337079 158% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 11.8971910112 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.