"Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition." Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning fo

Essay topics:

"Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition."

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Submitted by Xblow11 on Mon, 05/01/2017 - 16:53

Many people dream about being famous, especially teenagers, many of whom regard their popularity as purpose of life. However, though society praises selected individuals, it bases on a much greater number of people who work hard and diligent, but stay in shadow.

I believe that young people should put long-term goals at the first place instead of seeking for the fame. Firstly, big things are always done with enormous effort, and only they amend the world. Secondly, fame and recognition might be evanescent if they are not based on real contribution. However, fame and recognition might a great stimulator for a young mind to put effort in his future, but it should not be the primary goal.

There were numerous contributors throughout history, and they always struggled to reach success through sweat, blood, and pain. Be it writers, who lived in poverty, and counting every penny to publish future masterpiece, or scientists, who worked in bad conditions like Carnot, and were recognised only after death. One has to put a lot faith and energy to create something that would make the world a better place. For instance, Elon Musk, who created Tesla, Space X, and PayPal faced real challenges, but the plan he bore in his mind helped him to make significant contribution. So, it is big goals that help people amend the world.

Quick obtained fame is usually quite evanescent, so one should not refer to it as a sign of success. For instance, in the TV Show «Silicon Valley» a person, who is often referred sarcastically as Bighead, was placed on the first page of a very respectable journal for the significant contribution to company that he made. However, in fact it was a great twist of facts, and it was his luck that certain circumstances and relationships between wealthy people have put him into the place of celebrity. He did not do anything and his real contribution is zero. Society operates due to contributors, not parasites, so this behaviour is not the one to be instilled in youngsters.

However, it is true that fame usually comes along with success. One could admit, fame is a pleasant prize for those who succeeded. People who aim for being famous are in fact pushed to diligence and hard work, so such a tendency might be beneficial for them and for others. In addition, fame gives a great head start in every field. The popular show «Voice» gave a great chance for talented children to say a word for themselves to the whole world. I believe, the experience they got during their participation will help to succeed in the future.

Overall, I agree that young people should aim not for the quick fame and recognition, but bear in mind long-term goals. It is more likely they will be happy with their achievements, and it is more likely that they will make a contribution.

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Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, as to, for instance, in addition, in fact, it is true

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.5258426966 128% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 33.0505617978 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2335.0 2235.4752809 104% => OK
No of words: 482.0 442.535393258 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84439834025 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73120861985 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 215.323595506 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522821576763 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 714.6 704.065955056 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Interrogative: 4.0 0.740449438202 540% => Less interrogative sentences wanted.
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 13.0 1.77640449438 732% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2679736588 60.3974514979 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.2916666667 118.986275619 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0833333333 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.83333333333 5.21951772744 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 10.2758426966 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.127688271133 0.243740707755 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0426140402665 0.0831039109588 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0550068123403 0.0758088955206 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0790188941124 0.150359130593 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0576318091051 0.0667264976115 86% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.1392134831 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 12.1639044944 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 100.480337079 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.