Celebrities such as singers and film stars earn too much money, buy too many goods and care too little about other people.
to what extent do you think this is true?
should anything be done to change the situation?
Celebrities such as singers and film stars earn too much money, buy too many goods and care too little about other people. In my opinion, i think that it does not apply to all celebrities.
It is true that celebrities earn a lot of money, but that is their job and they have the ability to become celebrities. Not all the people can become celebrities, some of them came out from competitions. For instance in Singapore, there is this competition called star search and almost all the celebrities came out from there. In my opinion, i do not think that being a celebrity is a easy job, as sometimes they have to sacrifice their sleep to act or record for songs. They will also need to take care of their image when they are in public and watch their diet. Some celebrities in Taiwan and Korea are even banned from dating from their company. Therefore, i think they deserve what they earn.
Not only celebrities buy too many goods, rich people does that too, so i do not think that that is a problem. in my opinion, not all the celebrities care too little about other people. There are also celebrities doing volunteer works during their free time, and in Singapore, almost all the celebrities have to perform some difficult stunts on charity shows to help to raise funds for those people in need. Some celebrities also hold fan meetings occasionally to bond with their fans.
In conclusion, i do not think that there is anything that should be done to change the situation, as celebrities are also human, they get to decide what kind of life they want to live. The sentence "care too little about other people," does it only apply to celebrities? There are also people out there that are not celebrities, and care little about other people. Therefore, i do not think that the sentence, "Celebrities such as singers and film stars earn too much money, buy too many goods and care too little about other people." is true and nothing should be done.
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flaws:
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Look, the No. of Words: 348, while the No. of Different Words: 143, means that the essay has a lot of repetitive words.
First step to remove repetitive words is: Don't put some words like 'I think','In my opinion...' etc.
More different words wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1553 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.463 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.337 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 47 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.536 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5