Children today are not as fit and healthy as in the past. Discuss the causes for this situation with relevant examples and give your opinion on possible solutions.
Due to the advancement in technology ,education system has a racial improvement and introduced new education techniques.Because of these techniques it creates stress to children rather them to think innovatively and this stress is responsible where children is lacking their health .
Firstly, before the education system had allotted time to participate actively in sports and teachers made the students to learn and understand the concepts with their own ideas but now the education system is entirely different. With the growth of private educational institutions the competition is increasing among these institutes for this reason they are introducing more syllables than the required children knowledge.Even there was no sports hours to refresh their minds .For example My friend daughter who is studying class 6th got introduced to IIT syllabus.But this syllabus should be introduced at class 9th due to this children feel more stress.These institutes provide special classes to make children to learn.The hours spending is more in schools rather than in home and parents motivation became less.
Secondly, in recent survey told that even at the age of 14 years they are suffering from high B.P ,mental depression and suicide cases as they are getting less marks in exams for example in our area two of the children committed suicide as they got less marks in their exams.
In conclusion,depending upon the children knowledge government should adopt a rule to prescribe the new syllabus to every private educational institutions and introducing activities like sports,yoga which reduce stress and made them to fit healthy.Even parents has responsibility to take care and make their children to share their ideas and problems freely.This makes children to accomplish their respective goals and leads to fruitful life.
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flaws:
Don't put a space before punctuation marks.
Put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Don't forget punctuation marks. for example:
'Firstly, before the education system had allotted time to participate actively in sports and teachers made the students to learn and understand the concepts with their own ideas but now the education system is entirely different.'
better to be:
'Firstly, before the education system had allotted time to participate actively in sports, teachers made the students to learn and understand the concepts with their own ideas, but now the education system is entirely different. '
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 292 350
No. of Characters: 1519 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.134 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.202 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.743 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.036 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.385 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5