Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteeth century. The map below shows the development of the village.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.
The map shows the development of Chorleywood village in London for over 120 years period. Village of Chorleywood has some improvements from 1868 – 1994. This can be seen from a number of building public services such as Chorleywood Park and Golf course, main roads, railway, motorway, station and followed by other development vicinity those public services with slightly development. From 1868 – 1883, few development near main roads in which including one of strategic places for any kind of activities was developed. For 39 years ahead, larger development was built near main roads, railway and the area that was covered railway station (1883 – 1922). Another development took place near railway station and the railway itself, the development was twice larger than before. From 1970 until 1994, there were five starting points of the development that took place in the area alongside motorway adjacent to railway and main roads. The development was then completed all the area near the public services at that time.
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Sentence: The map shows the development of Chorleywood village in London for over 120 years period.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to for and over
Sentence: ...and followed by other development vicinity those public services with slightly development.From 1868 – 1883, few development near main roads in which including one of strategic places for any kind of activities was developed.
Suggestion: You may re-write this sentence.
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 1 4
Not well organized. better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 162 200
No. of Characters: 833 1000
No. of Different Words: 94 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.568 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.142 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.562 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 56 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 43 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.446 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.497 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.497 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.209 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 4