Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers Do you agree or disagree Re Write

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Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers.
Do you agree or disagree?(Re-Write)

Undoubtedly, technology change our lives. In the past, people always did their job by themselves, but now everything has done with computers and the Internet. Actually, the rules of work has been changed, we do not have to present at work and we can do our duty in different way.

I totally agree with this kind of working, I have some reason for that. First of all, people can save their time and their money. We use public transportation or driving car to go to work. Both of these ways has cost, we must buy ticket or buy gas for car. Also in the morning and in the evening there is a lot of traffic, everybody tries to go to work or comeback. Secondly, workers can stay at home with their family. Some of them are parents and have some children. Consequently, they could spend more time with children, and pay more attention to them.

In addition, they do not have old stress at work. They can do their job in better way, because they are in peace. Moreover, working at home has some benefit for employer too. Firstly, they can use small office because their employee most of the time work at home. Secondly, they can eliminate some costs, like power, charge of the Internet, buy new stuff like new computers, chairs and so on. Finally they can hired people from everywhere.

To sum up, I believe this kind of working is very good, and companies must give permission to their employee to work at home.

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Average: 7.3 (3 votes)
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2013-01-25 marzieh 73 view
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Sentence: Undoubtedly, technology change our lives.
Description: The fragment technology change our is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace change with verb, past tense

Sentence: Finally they can hired people from everywhere.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to can and hired

flaws:
No. of Words: 257 350
No. of Characters: 1105 1500
No. of Different Words: 140 200

It is ok this time. The essay is on the topic.

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1. Try to write the essay with more words. (It is not enough to have 250 words)
2. Try to remove those grammatical errors.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 257 350
No. of Characters: 1105 1500
No. of Different Words: 140 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.004 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.3 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.239 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 60 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 46 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.867 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.476 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5