Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.
As we know, bringing children up is a very difficult process and demands great responsibility. The commitments of parents have been a subject of discussion for many years and we can stress that nowadays it is still remaining as important one.
There are different thoughts about the roles of parents, for example some groups of people claim that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies, and also for bringing children up. But others insist that, it is not honest if father does not care about his children, so both of them must have the same responsibility and care. I strongly support the second opinion, to be more precise I think both parents' duties must be equal and according to this consideration, I want to explain my point with the help of some facts.
Firstly, from the psychological point of view the participation of mother and father is very necessary on the forming of child's psychology. Because, children learn not only from their mothers, but also from their fathers. For instance, they can learn from fathers some of male abilities, or some personal characters. On the other hand, it can be noted that, in modern society women's role is widening day by day, so it becomes very difficult for them to spend all their time on children.
Finally, I want to sum up my notions and note that all the responsibilities of bringing children up must be shared between parents, because they cannot cope with it separately.
- The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. 65
- The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. 53
- Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough.To what extent do you agree with this statement? 70
- The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they recieved from employers. 65
- The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. 77
Sentence: As we know, bringing children up is a very difficult process and demands great reponsibility.
Error: reponsibility Suggestion: responsibility
Sentence: But others insist that, it is not honest if father does not care about his children, so both of them must have the same responsibiliy and care.
Error: responsibiliy Suggestion: responsibility
Sentence: Firstly, from the physcological point of view the participation of mother and father is very necessary on the forming of child's physcology.
Error: physcology Suggestion: physiology
Error: physcological Suggestion: physiological
Sentence: On the other hand, it can be noted that, in modern society women's role is widening day by day, so it becomes very dificcult for them to spend all their time on children.
Error: dificcult Suggestion: difficult
Sentence: Finally, I want to sum up my notions and note that all the responsibilities of bringing children up must be shared between parents, because they cannot cope with it separetly.
Error: separetly Suggestion: ?
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
better to have 5 paragraphs, and one paragraph for introduction:
para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 251 350
No. of Characters: 1176 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.98 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.685 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.638 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 79 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.043 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.376 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.775 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5