Improvements in health, education andtrade are essential for the developmentof poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Improvements in health, education andtrade are essential for the developmentof poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree withthis opinion?

In modern world each country tries to keep up with the demands of the market economy and choose the most effective development strategy to provide better living conditions for their residents. It is commonly accepted that the main branches of this development stategy are improvements in health, education and trade. Nowadays it is an undeniable fact that poorer nations do not have enough financial support to apply such developments in their country although they understand their necessity. Some people claim that the solution of this actual problem can be made with the help of richer nations whereas others consider it completely wrong.

Today increasing number of disease and worrying proportion of ignorance in poor countries of the world such as most African countries makes people anxious about the future. The lack of natural resources and lower development level of education and health sphere causes such worse situations that they cannot avoid them without the financial support of richer countries. For instance,nowadays we can observe the great quantity of aids in different forms of developed countries which really helps to improve the economy of poorer nations.

On the other hand, helping poorer nations creates an intelligent image for rich countries and they become a good sample all over the world.

However, it does not mean that, poor nations must only rely on the help of other countries, they have to utilise these aids effectively.

Finally, reffering the reasons I indicated above, the idea that the goverments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations prove itself.

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2013-09-04 fialka 80 view
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Sentence: It is commonly accepted that the main branches of this development stategy are improvements in health, education and trade.
Error: stategy Suggestion: strategy

Sentence: However, it does not mean that, poor nations must only rely on the help of other countries, they have to utilise these aids effectively.
Error: utilise Suggestion: utilize

Sentence: Finally, reffering the reasons I indicated above, the idea that the goverments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations prove itself.
Error: reffering Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: goverments Suggestion: governments

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 3.194 7.5

Read this link about sentence length SD:
http://www.testbig.com/question/questions-about-essay-e-rater

'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 260 350
No. of Characters: 1353 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.016 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.204 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.554 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.194 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.385 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.689 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5