Keeping animals in captivity is cruel. There is no reason for zoos to exist in 21st century. How far you agree and disagree with this opinion? Give your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Keeping animals in captivity is cruel. There is no reason for zoos to exist in 21st century. How far you agree and disagree with this opinion? Give your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

In this contemporary time, zoos as conservation park for protecting animals from being extinct obtain numerous critics from animal lovers. They argue that zoos are failed to protect creatures or simply imprison their right to life. However, enormous people argue that there is no alternative to secure those animals to stay exist except bring them to the zoos. It is important to look at both arguments.

On one hand, animal lovers generally believe that animals have a right to life in the wild nature. They protest against zoos simply due to animal right. For them, protecting animals are critical not only that creatures are going to absent but also it correct things to do. To shield that fauna, it does not mean carry them to the zoos and breed regularly. Bringing them to a forest is the best way to conserve and ensure them to stay in natural tendencies. In Indonesian rain-forest for example, rhinoceros reach the highest population when they still in the natural condition and change directly right after humans carry them to the zoos. They deduce from that phenomenon that all animals would achieve their "well-being" whereupon released to the origin life.

On the other hand, there are host of reasons why some people dispute forests and accept zoos as the primary home for animals. Firstly, zoos provide a team of doctor and researcher who have a charge to control animal's nutrition. In a sanctuary where birds all around the world are collected, birds such as Cendrawasih bird treat according to their needs: vitamins, foods, and drugs. Furthermore, animals would secure from wildlife trade. Apropos to Washington Convention, 1200 species threaten for being extinct and most of them is consist of catch and sell in illegal market. It is clear that zoos play critical roles for protecting exotic creatures. Therefore, bring animals to the zoos would protect them from being non-existent.

All in all, although zoos are often critics by eliminating animal rights, this sole method that human beings have hereupon at least until expert could determine another solution. Moreover, humans should work together to build awareness towards the importance of preserving other creatures.

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2013-04-14 broerjuang 52 view
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Sentence: In this contemporary time, zoos as conservation park for protecting animals from being extinct obtain numerous critics from animal lovers.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to extinct and obtain

Sentence: For them, protecting animals are critical not only that creatures are going to absent but also it correct things to do.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to it and correct

Sentence: Apropos to Washington Convention, 1200 species threaten for being extinct and most of them is consist of catch and sell in illegal market.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and consist

Sentence: All in all, although zoos are often critics by eliminating animal rights, this sole method that human beings have hereupon at least until expert could determine another solution.
Description: The fragment are often critics is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace critics with criticized

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fist step, remove gram issues

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Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1792 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.02 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.439 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.002 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.469 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5