Many cities have become less pleasant places to live in recent years. what do you think are the causes of this ? what solutions suggest ?
Nowadays, many changes occur in this era, many cities less pleasant to live in recent years caused two factors. First is caused by the environment, and the second is by society itself. in the side ways, Largely information can be defect an acculturate culture which can contribute to changing itself.
Let us begin from the beginning factor-environment-.Suitable place indicated by the environment, for example; we like to live in the clean and healthy place which can make a highly quality of life. Nowadays you can see our environment changing, the weather unpredictably change, decreasing water quality, infertile land, all of this phenomena make less pleasant place to live in, not only in the city but also in some village the atmosphere already changed. Nevertheless, all of environmental change cannot be separated by human doing. Daily, less but sustain people destroyed the environment little by little, they cannot manage individual waste production, the habit which unfriendly to the field.
Second we said about the people inside society who make many place less pleasant to live in. In my culture we known as a togetherness people, everybody in some region has know well each other, is it good enough to make good relationship and help each other when get some trouble. In the recent years the tendency of each people becoming individual, they do not care each other and only aware of their self.
In the summary I offered togetherness as a solution to make comfortably place to live in. Spread out of this terminator, we should be care and aware to another, understanding and respect for other right, not only for other person but also to the environment too. This is all about respecting each other to build suitable place together.
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| 2013-11-02 | Sekar Hanafi | 73 | view |
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Largely information can be defect an acculturate culture which can contribute to changing itself.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: Nowadays you can see our environment changing, the weather unpredictably change, decreasing water quality, infertile land, all of this phenomena make less pleasant place to live in, not only in the city but also in some village the atmosphere already changed.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and phenomena
Daily, less but sustain people destroyed the environment little by little, they cannot manage individual waste production, the habit which unfriendly to the field.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: In my culture we known as a togetherness people, everybody in some region has know well each other, is it good enough to make good relationship and help each other when get some trouble.
Description: The fragment we known as is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace known with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to has and know
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to it and good
Sentence: In the recent years the tendency of each people becoming individual, they do not care each other and only aware of their self.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and people
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 291 350
No. of Characters: 1421 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.13 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.883 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.791 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.157 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.395 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.604 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.191 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5