In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

There are arguments supporting that working children are not good for their life. As the commonest thing, teenagers should focus on studying in school. However, for many reasons, others think that working students would gain many benefits. These paragraphs below explain about these pros and cons.

First of all, a mental destruction among children may be a main risk because of working. When kids have a job, they automatically must responsible for their duties. Some job descriptions conceivably become a life burden which strongly affects children’s mentality. This kind of responsibility is for adults only, not for children at all. In my view, it is better if children should study and let them to reach their dreams. They also have to spend time in school for their skill and talent improvement.

Secondly, many people have different thought about this topic. They believe that work experience brings benefits. Skills that they gain from job are useful to build an excellent character and one of them is learning skill development. The place where youth work provides a chance to learn many new skills. Then they also enable to enhance leadership and management ability. In work, a worker has to communicate with others. This directly support them to have skill which is required in their future. Although working seems inappropriate for children, they are able to gain many advantageous. Responsibility would teach them to live honestly.

In conclusion, even though children working in a place are considered as disadvantageous decision, in the fact it shows that it brings behavior development.

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Sentence: When kids have a job, they automatically must responsible for their duties.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to must and responsible

flaws:
No. of Words: 257 350
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.151 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 257 350
No. of Characters: 1311 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.004 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.101 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.744 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.151 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.444 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5