The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years Many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile delinquency arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their childre

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The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

At present, women’s role has tangibly changed in the last two decades in Indonesia. Many married women work. As a result, I agree this increases the number of juvenile delinquency from their children, due to less attention and egotistical of a mother. In contrary, I also agree that mother’s occupations might considerably pilot their children to have juvenile delinquency because the society plays an important role.

By having a busy mother to work, the chance to look after children maximally day-to-day probably showed a steady decrease. Children might have a greater freedom to do anything...

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2013-11-21 fitriarkham 80 view
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Sentence: Then, these kinds of juvenile delinquency are due to not much love from parents, mother in particular.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence? refer to 'due to'

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.961 7.5

Need to develop the sentences smoothly. for example:

In conclusion, the less affection from mother probably might let the children to juvenile delinquency.
Suggestion: In conclusion, the less affections from mother probably lead the children to juvenile delinquency.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 293 350
No. of Characters: 1487 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.137 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.075 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.7 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.961 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5