The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.
It is true that traditional gender roles and gradually of women change in the last two decades. It gives result for young people problem, such as juvenile dilinguency. I accept that a lot of married women now have a career and less time at home to be closer with their children. However I believe that there are many ways for married women keep their job and children in the same time, without underestimate another. In this section I will give more information about this case.
Nowadays, we know thaat gendre balances become controversial topic in the world. This problem is related with the position of women and men in society, especially in family. Some views argue that women have been restricticked to certain roles in family. As a mother, woman should not work, because she has to stay at home and bring up her children. In contrast, the father should be the breadwinner of the family. This view believe that the lack of busy women will give negative impact for children. The mother will no longer eat meal together and control the children from their environment. Friends, televisions, and the internet become the main influence on children’s behaviour. Furthermore, children may be left alone in home or with nannies or babysitter. Children do not growt with their.
On the other hand, others views give opinions that both parent should share their parenting and domestic respon. Mother and father can educate their children to reach their own satisfaction from growing of their children. Women and men should have to access the same proffesional opportunity, it is include to be able to pursue a career. So, no any reasons that can prevent to married women to reach and continue their job. As long as, there is a good dealing and divide responsibilities proportion.
To sum up, traditional role that claim married women should not work and become housewife who stay at home during the day to care for their children is cannot really realized in this era. Even though, women should make sure their responsibiliies are to care, educate, and protect their children. Because as parents should be more involved with their children’s up bringing.
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| 2013-11-25 | Saleh_ADNA | 70 | view |
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Sentence: However I believe that there are many ways for married women keep their job and children in the same time, without underestimate another.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to without and underestimate
Sentence: This view believe that the lack of busy women will give negative impact for children.
Description: The fragment view believe that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace believe with verb, past tense
Sentence: Children do not growt with their.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a sentence terminator
Suggestion: Refer to their
Sentence: On the other hand, others views give opinions that both parent should share their parenting and domestic respon.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to others and views
Sentence: Women and men should have to access the same proffesional opportunity, it is include to be able to pursue a career.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and include
Sentence: To sum up, traditional role that claim married women should not work and become housewife who stay at home during the day to care for their children is cannot really realized in this era.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to is and cannot
Sentence: It gives result for young people problem, such as juvenile dilinguency.
Error: dilinguency Suggestion: delinquency
Sentence: Nowadays, we know thaat gendre balances become controversial topic in the world.
Error: thaat Suggestion: than
Error: gendre Suggestion: genre
Sentence: This problem is related with the position of women and men in society,
Sentence: Some views argue that women have been restricticked to certain roles in family.
Error: restricticked Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Women and men should have to access the same proffesional opportunity, it is include to be able to pursue a career.
Error: proffesional Suggestion: professional
Sentence: Even though, women should make sure their responsibiliies are to care, educate, and protect their children.
Error: responsibiliies Suggestion: responsibilities
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.783 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.595 7.5
The essay is not exactly right on the topic.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ?
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 363 350
No. of Characters: 1745 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.365 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.807 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.566 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.783 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.595 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.348 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.287 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.444 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5