In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In Indonesia, obesity becomes topic which is significant to confer, east to get evidence about that mostly magazines, newspapers, and federation of doctors argue in reference to unbalance body posture which includes adult people and young children. Nutritionists believe that the causes of an unhealthy body are bad lifestyle and lack of physical activities. This essay would argue the health problem in modern era.
Nowadays, citizens mostly works in office and disregards their time for exercise, and they prefer mostly to work and underestimate for getting a healthy-food, dominant people rely on fast food or instant food which contained high sugar, salt and grease. Therefore, cosmopolitan life threatened by high-blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes. These cases produce the policies from a government.
In 2013, the bureau, policies maker, spends money in national budget for beating out obesity with using Health Department in which is worrisome socialization of healthy lifestyle including high nutrition, exercise, and healthy mind. For example, the government provides public areas including jogging tracks and gym halls in a central park of city, administrations recommends eating five portions of fruit and vegetables per day, and controlling disposal foods which contain high salt and sugar in each fast food restaurants.
The government purchases seven trillion Rupiah for promulgating new paradigm of lifestyles, and administration wears media to send information about healthy as primary property. The government believes that a media is significant to deconstruction common perception. For example, drawbacks of obesity had promoted by a mass-media that successful decreased dramatically during two years. According to researchers who concern in over-weight pronounce 60% of citizens in 2013 mostly prefer to attend exercise rather than eat in fast food restaurants during weekend.
In a nutshell, people should be balance the proportion of food with following healthy diet which includes rates of calories. Where is possible, a vegetarian diet is the greatest way to build healthy body and religion is the way to develop healthy mind, and avoid to eat foods with minimum nutrition.
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Comments
Ok thank you for the
Ok thank you for the suggestion. Let me add some words as you say. Please check my writing after.
hai testbig please review my
hai testbig please review my essay again.
i had been checking and correcting.
Sentence: The government
Sentence: The government believes that a media is significant to deconstruction common perception.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to deconstruction and common
Sentence: For example, drawbacks of obesity had promoted by a mass-media that successful decreased dramatically during two years.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, past tense
Suggestion: Refer to successful and decreased
flaws:
Some sentences are not developed smoothly.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 333 350
No. of Characters: 1832 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.272 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.502 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.929 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.657 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.214 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
flaws:
No. of Words: 240 350
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.037 0.07
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 240 350
No. of Characters: 1292 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.936 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.383 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.845 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.257 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.222 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.659 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.037 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5