In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
Education, as we all are aware and no one can really deny, not only plays a significant roll in every individual human’s life but also broadens his horizons in divers levels of social life. There are number of countries which have a wealth of students with lots of studies and hard works and a short time for being free especially in recent years. Psychologists are of the point of view that there is two main causes for this problem one are parents and the other one is educational system in a country.
The first main cause are the parents, who are not aware of importance drawbacks of studying hard on their children such as depression as well as sickness lesson for the rest of their lives. They believe that if they obligate their children to study hard and limit their children’s time for playing and having fun, it lead them to be a successful person in feature working life.
The second cause is higher education system, each year a lot of students apply for universities and the number of applicants to universities is more than university places. The result of this is students who are in higher grades will be accepted. It contributes to increase pressure on students to study hard to have any chance to get success.
I think one solution is to warn parents about afflicts of studying hard on their children such as anxiety that is because of being unrest. And the other solution is government should spend more money on universities getting bigger or adding more universities and other educational places so if young people want to study in universities they are not forced to narrow their free time.
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Sentence: They believe that if they obligate their children to study hard and limit their children's time for playing and having fun, it lead them to be a successful person in feature working life.
Description: The fragment it lead them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace lead with verb, past tense
flaws:
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Attribute Value Ideal
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