Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work.How do you think children should spent their free time.

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Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work.
How do you think children should spent their free time.

Childhood is a precious timeframe among this whole life journey. Some people assert that children should indulge into their studies even in their free time. However, in this essay, I contend that instead to do study whole day, there are much more other creative activities that children can do in their idle time.

To support my contention, the first point is creative and enthusiastic utilization of leisure time. This is a combination of mental exercise in form of playing game such as small fun puzzles, building blocks or it could be in form of any house hold small and enjoyable works such as helping parents in garden, kitchen or such like this. This will not only increase mental level of children but also strength their family bonds.

Secondly, the most important use of free time is physical exercise. This is an activity that children must not be deprived of. Parents can bring their children in parks where they can play with other children and enjoy the moment. In fact, this is not only recommended for their physical stamina but also fights with the disease like disease.

Last but not least is, of course, that leisure time should have free moments for the children to decide whatever he would like to do. This will help the children to show their interest and level of capability of how they perceive the things. No doubt, there should be a proportion of time to do school homework so that to do other activities, children should not be left behind academically.

To conclude, free time should be a combination of mental and physical exercise than just to do school works. This will higher their stamina and they can become a real human with complete package than just a bookworm.

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2023-01-15 ielts_tony view
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Sentence: This will not only increase mental level of children but also strength their family bonds.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to strength and their

Sentence: Childhood is a precious timeframe among this whole life journey.
Error: timeframe Suggestion: time frame

flaws:
Don't use 'not only ... but also' a lot of times in one essay

Still have grammatical issues. Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 294 350
No. of Characters: 1372 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.141 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.667 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.341 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.341 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5