Some people believe in the traditional idea that the woman’s place is in the home, while others say that idea is outdated and that women should play an increasingly important role in the workplace of the future. What is your opinion?

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Some people believe in the traditional idea that the woman’s place is in the home, while others say that idea is outdated and that women should play an increasingly important role in the workplace of the future. What is your opinion?

In a changing world, the women’s place in our society has been obviously altered compared to the recent centuries. They have started to take a highlighted place in globe so that the heroes of nowadays fairy tales has been changed. There are some who hold the opinion that women are inevitable in the workplace of the next years whereas others share various different points of view. In my case, the two major subjects, which are related to this critical question, is their success skills and their ability of gaining much more money than others.

The people who argue that women should undoubtedly take place in our society’s work life have some notable arguments to share it. To begin with, women’s success skills are recognizing so that most of hem can be more successful rather than man by the help of their organization abilities. As they are very tidy and punctual, they can easily concentrating to their job. For instance, in managing crucial documents they are very good and we cannot deny the organization’s importance on work life. In addition to this, they are very respectful to the rules. Moreover, by the help of their ambitions they can gain more money. We almost know that women are more ambitious than men because majority of them wants to be the queen of their own fairy tales. Due to this, nowadays we have female pilots, soldiers and taxi drivers.

On the other hand, there are some more compelling reasons, which shows that women should stay at home. Most people declare that woman is ought to be a good parent to their children although they want to work. She must wash the dishes and clean the house as a slave. We are noticing this style of life especially in paternalistic families.

Hence, there are some who hold the opinion that females is inevitable for our future work life in globe whereas others share a different point of view. All in all, in my case woman are crucial for the development of our future work life.

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2013-03-13 su sozen 40 view
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flaws:
Need to focus on your own opinion and argue instead of talking about the ideas on both side.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 341 350
No. of Characters: 1569 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.297 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.601 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.365 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.944 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.788 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5