some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Other disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference.
Today, it is evidently noticed that public awareness regarding traditions and customs of a nation has substantially increased in comparison with a recent past. However, following a local customs by tourists can preserve that customs, freedom in choosing their national behavior might be seen as a valid means of liberty which leads visitors and hosts to a innovative method of living and alteration.
Many supporters of preserving local customs believe that local tradition might be such minority of the world that they will be forgotten if no one tries to learn it. As a result some rules are approved to guard them and teach them to new visitors in a country.
Beside, some opponents of following local culture as a rule, included myself, reckon that with choosing a way of behaving as a social unity, freeness of opting novel methods will be taken from individuals. Welcoming other countries' culture not only does not necessarily mean the national customs are demolishing but also it might have a message for other nations to choose it if they like it. For instance, color festival in India is supported by many nations as if it was originated in their own territory.
Last but not least, freedom of accepting new foreign attitudes might have a positive virtue for a country because the recent visitors might alter their national notions to a better point. Although a culture could be affected by the newcomers, this change should not be exclusively translated to destroying their local heritage. Changing a tradition sometimes could be more beneficial from the humanity point of view.
Brief and to the point, it is feasible to let visitors be free in their own way while preserve a countries' custom if only it is favorite. All and all, it is always wise to live in balance rather than extremes.
- when a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is possible to try and keep them alive.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion? 67
- There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays? 69
- The chart below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit. 65
- the diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. 68
- The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999 91
following a local customs by tourists can preserve that customs, freedom in choosing their national behavior might be seen as a valid means of liberty which leads visitors and hosts to a innovative method of living and alteration.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence? make the sentences shorter.
Welcoming other countries' culture not only does not necessarily mean the national customs are demolishing but also it might have a message for other nations to choose it if they like it.
Description: not only ... but also ... is not used properly
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to while and preserve
Sentence: All and all, it is always wise to live in balance rather than extremes.
Description: The tag a determiner/pronoun, pre-quantifier is not usually followed by and
Suggestion: Refer to All and and
All in all means 'In conclusion'. It should be put at the beginning of the conclusion paragraph.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Still have grammatical issues. Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 304 350
No. of Characters: 1468 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.176 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.829 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.655 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.641 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.651 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5