Some people say we should not encourage sports at school because this will cause competition rather than co-operation. To what extend do you agree or disagree with it ?
Nowadays, many schools around the world offer many kinds of sport as one of the required subjects. Some people think that sports will make competitive behavior. Conversely, others argue that if the students are trained on the right way, they will improve coordinated behavior. Thus, in this essay, both sides of this issue will be discussed.
On one hand, the sports are applied for generating a unity of students especially in team sports. The students can learn how to play along with their teammates. Take football for example, Barcelona FC, the best team, uses many players that play together since they were young. Moreover, sport teachers usually teach the way of spirit in sport fields because nobody wins or loses in all games. Performing in right way to opponents is very important to makes a friendship. As a result, the students will act appropriately in a society.
On the other hand, competition may occurs, especially, when the teachers don’t suggest their students in the good way. If they concentrated only in victory, their students will not pay attention to others. Not only are the students competitive behavior, but also become a dishonest person. Because the players can use all means that reach them to be the winner.
From what has been discussed above, I may reach the conclusion that the sports can make both competition and co-operation results, it depends on how the schools use. Personally, I disagree that the sports will make more competition than co-operation because I strongly believe that the students will be teach by the sports in the way of spirit, sportsmanship, and coordination between sport matches.
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Sentence: Performing in right way to opponents is very important to makes a friendship.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and makes
Sentence: On the other hand, competition may occurs, especially, when the teachers don't suggest their students in the good way.
Description: The fragment may occurs , is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace occurs with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 272 350
No. of Characters: 1329 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.061 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.886 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.636 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.69 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5