Some people think that health care is a basic human necessity that should not be provided by private companies, but should be provided by the state. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of health care being provided by the private sector.
Booming the proportion of ageing people to youths has opened a new gate into the concern for supplying sufficient health care. In addition, a considerable number of private companies in terms of private hospitals and emergency centers have been established over the past decade. Some people claim that with the progressing rate of people who need health assistant, private centers are essential to give service. Others, however, believe that this is the duty of government to cater for people’s demands. However, there are some benefits and drawbacks in utilizing private services, which are listed below.
First, as the rate of birth is considerably declining in many nations, the majority of population belongs to age 50s and over in most countries. Needless to say that ageing populations are more likely to require health services. As a result of this significant demand, great numbers of private health departments are inevitably needed to give service to people. Nonetheless, the government should allocate a major amount of money to the health care tab, which will be led to a deficit in the budget. Therefore, private organizations play an important role in the economical status of their society.
Secondly, private hospitals are better well-equipped compared to state hospitals. In other words, people prefer to go to private hospitals because they want to benefit high-technology treatment services as they care about their health feeling modern technology is more reliable in curing process especially in serious cases like surgeries.
However, presenting health services by non-state organs is rather expensive. Thus, government would provide an economically convenient service for people. Furthermore, as governmental treatment offices cover health insurance, people will logically pay less for prescriptions. Regarding that, we are witnessing most people who tend to use governmental health assistance even if the treatments and equipment are not as modern as of those in private corporations.
To sum up, health care is a vital public issue. I believe that providing treatment for non-state centers has the benefits that overweight the demerits as they offer up-to-date treatments and high-tech equipment, which can more possibly guarantee individual’s health status. Finally, private services contribute in economic improvement of their society.
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Comments
i suppose both aging and
i suppose both aging and ageing are correct since there are both in the cambridge dictionary and i've often seen "ageing" in IELTS books.
it is said that ageing is the british spelling of aging
Sentence: Booming the proportion of ageing people to youths has opened a new gate into the concern for supplying sufficient health care.
Error: ageing Suggestion: aging
Sentence: Needless to say that ageing populations are more likely to require health services.
Error: ageing Suggestion: aging
flaws:
Be sensitive to use 'On the other hand', 'However','Nonetheless' in the essays. Need to develop ideas smoothly.
'Others, however, believe that this is the duty of government to cater for people’s demands. However, there are some benefits and drawbacks in utilizing private services, which are listed below.'
'Nonetheless, the government should allocate a major amount of money to the health care tab, ...'
'However, presenting health services by non-state organs is rather.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1951 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.465 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.919 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.263 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.064 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5