Writing task 2 (an essay)
In many cases the development of a country is accompanied by pollution and environmental damage. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Can it be simply avoided if the country takes an environmentally friendly approach?
The development of a country in this world is issued by some environmentalists as main cause of severe pollution which is affect our natural habitats. For some extents, I do support this issue since many facts and figures are showed in last decades.
In some countries in the Middle East, the development arises in many dimensions. More and more companies and factories were build-up. It is inevitable effect of production of natural resources, such as petroleum and gas. On some regions in this world, consider as the third world, the development also happened slightly. Moreover, some countries gain super power position in industrial sector, for instance, China, South Korea and Japan. Those are the example of how development changes the face of the world.
As the results of industrial development, not many factories neglected its side effect of production. Then, they did not make a proper regulation to treat emission. Furthermore, they let their waste off hand. In many conditions, that even becomes worse when there is housing near from the factory.
Solid waste and smoke emission are harmful. These can cause cancer,lung problems and another severe illness. Industrial sector as the most significant aspect of country’s development, now turns to be the most complex problem for our society and natural world.
Another figure of development problem is related to green life. Establishment of factory requires wide space. We often watch how green space became industrial area. Rain forest, riverside and parks are rarely found nowadays. What is more, humanity barely breathe fresh air, instead we inhale pollution and dusty air.
On another hand, I think development is not fully wrong and negative. As long as companies can manage their waste, like recycle or reuse it for other purposes. Some country began to aware of the global warming. As the matter of fact, in this present day we enable to make pollution control. Many scientists manage to find a positive solution that so called environmentally friendly.
In a nutshell, the development and its pollution might cause damage for environment and living creatures. But, as long as governments and company owners can make a good regulation, we can reduce the harms. Thus, it is possible to protect this world from further damage.
Sentence: The development of a country in this world is issued by some environmentalists as main cause of severe pollution which is affect our natural habitats.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and affect
More and more companies and factories were build-up.
More and more companies and factories were built up.
Sentence: On some regions in this world, consider as the third world, the development also happened slightly.
Description: The fragment , consider as is rare
Those are the example of how development changes the face of the world.
Those are the examples of how development changes the face of the world.
not many factories neglected its side effect of production.
not many factories neglected their side effect of production.
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.605 7.5
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.047 0.07
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1864 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.011 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.678 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.605 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.357 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.239 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.499 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.047 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5