The pie chart shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive and the table shows these affected three regions of the world during 1990s.

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The pie chart shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive and the table shows these affected three regions of the world during 1990s.

The pie chart illustrates the factors that are mainly responsible for worldwide land degradation, while the table gives information about each degradation causes in 1990s in three regions. It is clearly seen that the main factor of land degradation was over-grazing, and of the three regions shown, Europe had the highest proportion of agricultural land degradation in 1990s.

As can be seen from pie chart, the major reason for unproductive land in global scale was over-grazing (35%). The other two causes were deforestation (30%) and over-cultivation (28%). Lastly, 7% of other factor led degradation around the worldwide.

According to the table, the proportion of land which became less productive land in Europe was the highest, which was followed by Oceania, while the North America had the lowest proportion. In Europe, farmland degradation was caused by deforestation (9.8%) and over-cultivation (7.7%), which these factors were less significant in the other two regions. For example, in Oceania deforestation was around 1.7% and over-cultivation never happened and in North America deforestation nearly zero percent and approximately 3.3%. In contrast, the majority land in Oceania were degraded because of over-grazing, reaching at 11.3%, while there were around 5.5% in Europe and only 1.5% in North America.

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the proportion of land became less productive land in Europe was the highest,
the proportion of land which became less productive land in Europe was the highest,

deforestation (9.8%) and over-cultivation (7.7%) were responsible in Europe, which was less significant in the other 2 regions,
Description: 'which' refers to what?

while were around 5.5% in Europe
while there were around 5.5% in Europe

Sentence: The causes came to second and third were deforestation 30 and over-cultivation 28.
Description: A verb 'to be', past tense, 2nd person singular or all is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to were and deforestation

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 192 200
No. of Characters: 976 1000
No. of Different Words: 96 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.722 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.083 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.138 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 63 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 46 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.367 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.467 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.672 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4

In Europe, farmland degradation was caused by deforestation (9.8%) and over-cultivation (7.7%), which these factors were less significant in the other two regions.

In Europe, farmland degradation was caused by deforestation (9.8%) and over-cultivation (7.7%), where these factors were less significant in the other two regions.

Bette this time..

6.5 out of 9