Write a letter to a manufacturer to ask them to arrange production of a new item for you. Please say- What item do you need?- Why do you need it?

Essay topics:

Write a letter to a manufacturer to ask them to arrange production of a new item for you. Please say

- What item do you need?
- Why do you need it?

To
The engineering team
Apollo Corporation

I am writing to you to request absolutely new model of bicycle for me. As an professional Olympic athlete for many years, I have earned enormous admiration from my fans. Therefore, undoubtedly my fans expect me to use unique bicycle to show that I love my profession which I personally think is good idea to abide by.

Fundamentally, the bicycle I want you to make must consist of very strong high quality metal parts to sustain weight. In addition to this,it must be eye-popping attractive with florid decoration. Use of bright neon lights to overcome foggy weather is another feature I want for. Moreover, I prefer leather seat to synthetic one.It must be well tested for comfortability, smoothness while driving and pass other minimum specifications from related authorizing body.Last but not least, I am very conscious about strong and high shock absorbing tyres which I believe you obviously use for my model.Should I have any further details I will let you know as soon as possible.

I look forward hearing from you soon.

John Smith
Olympic athlete

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2014-04-27 bwosti 80 view
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is good idea
is a good idea

very strong high quality metal parts
very strong metal parts in high quality

flaws:
Always put a space after punctuation marks. Essay e-rater is sensitive.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 187 200
No. of Characters: 895 1000
No. of Different Words: 130 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.698 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.786 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.817 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 63 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 50 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 26 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.059 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.708 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.19 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4