The graph shows Internet Usage in Taiwan by Age Group 1998 2000

Essay topics:

The graph shows Internet Usage in Taiwan by Age Group, 1998-2000.

The given bar graph illustrates the internet usage by various age groups in Taiwan between 1998 and 2000.

Overall, it can be seen that the internet was the most popular between 16-30 years and 31 to 50 years, although the usage by these groups dipped in the following years. It is interesting to note that less than 15 and 50 or more constituted the lowest total to access the internet in 1998.

As regards 16-30 years, which stood at 53% in 1998, far higher than 31 to 50 years at 41%, whereas '50 or more' started at 4%, two times more than 'less than 15' at 2%. A notable feature is that 53% and 41% in 1998 were the highest total, as compared to other years. Despite being the peak figure, both 16-30 years and 31 to 50 years, experienced a moderate drop in 1999 to 45% and 39% respectively, while less than 15 and 50 or more witnessed a rapid swell to 8% each correspondingly.

Having fallen in 1999, there was again a minimal slip to 44% and 37% for 16-30 years and 31 to 50 years in the final year. On the contrary, with respect to less than 15 and 50 or more, there was a slight growth to 9% and 10% consequently in the end of the term.

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Average: 8 (12 votes)
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2021-05-28 SeyedeZahra313IRI 78 view
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IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 290, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t total to access the internet in 1998. As regards 16-30 years, which stood at 5...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 263, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...0% consequently in the end of the term.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, well, whereas, while, as regards, on the contrary, with respect to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 7.0 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 1.00243902439 100% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 6.8 221% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.15609756098 127% => OK
Pronoun: 6.0 5.60731707317 107% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 33.7804878049 98% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 3.97073170732 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 930.0 965.302439024 96% => OK
No of words: 221.0 196.424390244 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.20814479638 4.92477711251 85% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.85565412703 3.73543355544 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.34643199894 2.65546596893 88% => OK
Unique words: 119.0 106.607317073 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.538461538462 0.547539520022 98% => OK
syllable_count: 247.5 283.868780488 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.1 1.45097560976 76% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 1.53170731707 131% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.07073170732 374% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 8.94146341463 89% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.4926829268 120% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 37.5364406277 43.030603864 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.25 112.824112599 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.625 22.9334400587 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0 5.23603664747 191% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 1.69756097561 118% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 3.70975609756 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 1.13902439024 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.09268292683 73% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.168803335131 0.215688989381 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112091815299 0.103423049105 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.189111020775 0.0843802449381 224% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.196231448753 0.15604864568 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.239822272857 0.0819641961636 293% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 13.2329268293 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 86.37 61.2550243902 141% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.3012195122 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.43 11.4140731707 65% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.06136585366 95% => OK
difficult_words: 38.0 40.7170731707 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.4329268293 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.9970731707 116% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.0658536585 72% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

it can be seen that the internet was the most popular between 16-30 years and 31 to 50 years
it can be seen that the internet was most popular among16-30 years and 31 to 50 years

flaws:
not organized so well. it is hard to read. read another sample which is more clear:

https://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/graph-shows-interne…

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 221 200
No. of Characters: 884 1000
No. of Different Words: 115 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.856 4.0
Average Word Length: 4 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.32 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 42 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 30 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 16 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 9 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.175 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.5 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.743 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

Yes, that essay has issues on comparisons. We refer to this essay to show better organizations. The correct way is still by year but more clear, like this:

The given data present the information about the internet users in four age groups in Taiwan between the years 1998 to 2000. As is presented in the bar graph, people from 16 to 30 years old of Taiwan used the internet more than people of other age group and over the time internet users from younger and aged people increased.

According to the given data, in 1998 more than 50% internet users of Taiwan were above 16 years old and below 30 years old. People from 31 to 50 years old were 41% of total internet users. Very fewer people over 50 years old or less than 15 years used the internet in Taiwan in this year. In next year, the percentage of younger and aged users of internet increased to 8% of total internet users and internet users from other two age groups decreased slightly. In the year 2000, the same trend can be observed and aged internet users increased to 10% while the percentage of internet users among 16 to 50 years decreased by 1-2%.

As is observed from the bar graph, the internet is popular among the 16 to 50 years old people in Taiwan and over times the younger and senior citizens' affection and needs towards internet usages increased.