Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

It is a disputable issue whether media coverage of celebrities is harming children. Important though celebrity reports may be a bad case, learns about celebrities also could provide live textbooks to self-examination. All things considered, I do not fully agree with this opinion.

To begin with, the development of judgment requires experience as a basis. To some extent, the hand-on coverage from celebrities is the most vivid case. Parents with long-term vision will not keep their children in the greenhouse forever. On the contrary, they are good at educating children with real cases, which including negative cases of necessity. For example, my cousin Jennifer once was a big fan of Justin Bieber, who is a singer known for his wild behavior. Under his influence, Jennifer tends to rebellion at first, but a few months later, the local media reported that he was arrested for drug addiction, she feels hearts broken and ask her parents for help. Her father told her: Maybe Bieber has the talent for music, but having noble cultivation and self-control is the key to success, so Jennifer recognizes her mistakes and tries to think in a more ration way.

In addition，familiar with celebrity’s story are beneficial to independence. We should know that it would have taken a paragon of virtue not to fall into temptation. If children could realize that the world is complex and sophisticated, individuals will always encounter numerous temptations. They will not be too naive and stand behind their parents all the time. By keeping in touch with the truth, they are more likely to deal with various things in the real world.

As the motto says, the way up and the way down is the same, depending on how you act, despite exposure to some negative reports is a kind of risk to children, the positive parts are more dominant. By doing so, not only would it help them distinguish right from wrong but also conducive to independence.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, for example, in addition, in fact, kind of, on the contrary, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 7.0 286% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 1.00243902439 1097% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 6.8 147% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 3.15609756098 222% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 30.0 5.60731707317 535% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 33.7804878049 157% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 3.97073170732 277% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1862.0 965.302439024 193% => OK
No of words: 373.0 196.424390244 190% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99195710456 4.92477711251 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 3.73543355544 118% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8492189662 2.65546596893 107% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 106.607317073 215% => Less unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.613941018767 0.547539520022 112% => OK
syllable_count: 564.3 283.868780488 199% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 1.53170731707 653% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 4.33902439024 138% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.482926829268 414% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 3.36585365854 238% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 8.94146341463 224% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 18.0 22.4926829268 80% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.8186370378 43.030603864 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.1 112.824112599 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.65 22.9334400587 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25 5.23603664747 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 3.83414634146 130% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 1.69756097561 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 3.70975609756 216% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 1.13902439024 878% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.09268292683 49% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234485097115 0.215688989381 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0659683223402 0.103423049105 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0638166435907 0.0843802449381 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121518492943 0.15604864568 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0690046701327 0.0819641961636 84% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 13.2329268293 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 61.2550243902 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.3012195122 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 11.4140731707 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.06136585366 107% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 40.7170731707 236% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.4329268293 66% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.9970731707 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.