Please review my ielts writing task 1

Essay topics:

Please review my ielts writing task 1

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six month period in 2011.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the amount of questions which was sent by the customers of the Tourist Information Office and included in 3 units (person,letter/email,telephone ) in the first half of 2011.

As an overall trend, decreased numbers of queries received by letter/email. Besides, those receives in person or by making a phone were risen common in during the period shown.

In particular, in January, telephone was the more used than 2 of rest. It was about 850 questions . The guest who was used by massage about 790 questions and those used in person was the lowest numbers about 410 questions in the same month.
Over the next six months, the tourist information office received more and more the calls by telephone about 1600 in June. The number of direct questions increase rapidly and ranked top at the end about 1900 in June. In contrast, the used by message was a decreased trend about under 400

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Average: 1.1 (1 vote)
This essay topic by users
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2018-02-22 Trang Ngọc Minh 11 view
Essays by user Trang Ngọc Minh :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 2, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... and make comparisons where relevant. The line graph illustrates the amount of...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 148, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , letter
...on Office and included in 3 units person,letter/email,telephone in the first half of 2...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 161, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , telephone
... included in 3 units person,letter/email,telephone in the first half of 2011. As an ov...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 171, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in 3 units person,letter/email,telephone in the first half of 2011. As an over...
^^
Line 9, column 98, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...an 2 of rest. It was about 850 questions . The guest who was used by massage about...
^^
Line 9, column 242, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... about 410 questions in the same month. Over the next six months, the tourist in...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, first, so, in contrast, in particular

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 7.0 100% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 6.8 103% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.15609756098 95% => OK
Pronoun: 3.0 5.60731707317 54% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 33.7804878049 118% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 3.97073170732 101% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 974.0 965.302439024 101% => OK
No of words: 194.0 196.424390244 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0206185567 4.92477711251 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.73207559907 3.73543355544 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10090652903 2.65546596893 117% => OK
Unique words: 103.0 106.607317073 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530927835052 0.547539520022 97% => OK
syllable_count: 295.2 283.868780488 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 1.53170731707 131% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.33902439024 138% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 3.36585365854 119% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 8.94146341463 123% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.4926829268 76% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.0287238293 43.030603864 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.5454545455 112.824112599 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6363636364 22.9334400587 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.18181818182 5.23603664747 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 3.83414634146 156% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 1.69756097561 353% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 3.70975609756 54% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.09268292683 195% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.215688989381 0% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.103423049105 0% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0843802449381 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.15604864568 0% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0819641961636 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 13.2329268293 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 61.2550243902 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.3012195122 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.54 11.4140731707 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.49 8.06136585366 93% => OK
difficult_words: 37.0 40.7170731707 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.4329268293 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.9970731707 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum four paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.