apply to college
Dear Admissions department,
Humber College
Toronto (ON)
My name is Brunn Dell’Agnolo Barhum, I am 33 years old and I have a degree in Food Engineering from institute São Caetano, Brazil. Through this letter I, wish to express the interest in the Global Business Management course (Ontario Graduate Certificate) at Humber College and ask you to consider me as a candidate to your program (20841) that will start on January 2020.
As I started my degree in Food Engineering I looked for accomplishing internships at different areas, with the aim of getting to perceive the market possibilities and to define which would be my field of practice. Therefore, I worked as an intern for USP (University of São Paulo) supporting research analysis, at Crown Cork S.A. in the commercial area and at Brasilia S.A. in quality area focusing on production control, prototyping and technical assistance. All these experiences allowed me to understand several areas of a Company, and decided to work at a place that could teach me as much as I could absorb also with growing possibilities, so I signed for diverse company programs, and when I got in Amber (now Ab Ines) I had no doubt but to go for it, considering they were one of the biggest Fast Moving Consumer Goods Company.
At Amber, I have spent 6 years, started as a plant supervisor and achieved different positions over the years. The last role was at the Research and Development area as a Packaging Specialist (technical area), at this point I was working close to the business area and realized my interest for business and management subjects. Later I got the opportunity to shift from Amber to Donne as Research and Innovation Packaging Manager working intensely with business aspects, It has been a great 4 years journey, confirming my fulfillment in work as a manager.
About my studies In Brazil, after my degree, I did specializations in Business and Project Management, and trainings such as negotiation, Lean Six Sigma (Green Belt), DOE (Design of Experiments & Process Optimization). In order to keep growing my career is necessary to expand my skills and competencies to a higher level, and for that, I believe a global business management specialization abroad is fundamental.
In order to choose a place and University abroad Brazil, I focused on two main points, which were culture and quality of the university. Based on them I selected Canadá and Humber College as the best choice to study at a foreign country for a period of time to increase knowledge, get to know new cultures, ways of work and also fortifying the sense of community.
Thank you for considering my application. It would be a great honor to continue my studies and add more knowledge to my career with Humber College.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours Faithfully,
Brunna Barhum.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-05-26 | Ricardo Correa | 11 | view |
| 2019-05-26 | Ricardo Correa | 11 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 244, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ice to study at a foreign country for a period of time to increase knowledge, get to know new ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 365, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...also fortifying the sense of community. Thank you for considering my application...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, so, therefore, no doubt, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 7.48453608247 134% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 4.92783505155 101% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 5.05154639175 436% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 6.0 3.03092783505 198% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 32.9175257732 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 26.3917525773 261% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 14.0 3.85567010309 363% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2370.0 937.175257732 253% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 475.0 206.0 231% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98947368421 4.54256449028 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66845742379 3.78020617076 123% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0191085762 2.54303337028 119% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 127.690721649 211% => Less unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.566315789474 0.622605031667 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 745.2 290.88556701 256% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.41237113402 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.13402061856 120% => OK
Article: 1.0 0.824742268041 121% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 0.463917525773 862% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 1.44329896907 831% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 12.6804123711 126% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 16.3608247423 177% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 88.6523230096 44.8134815571 198% => OK
Chars per sentence: 148.125 76.5299724578 194% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.6875 16.8248392259 176% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.3125 4.34317383033 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 4.29896907216 186% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 2.54639175258 79% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 7.41237113402 162% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.49484536082 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.94845360825 76% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0424308714208 0.216113520407 20% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0151308623325 0.0766984524023 20% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0315087400617 0.0603063233224 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.015564013372 0.12726935374 12% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0269721819465 0.0580467560999 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 8.37731958763 202% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 70.7449484536 59% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 3.82989690722 292% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 7.45979381443 196% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 8.71597938144 141% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.53 7.59969072165 125% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 41.2886597938 325% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 8.62886597938 220% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 13.6 8.54432989691 159% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 8.15463917526 233% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.