Celebrities are Usually Famous for Glamour and Wealth rather Than Their Achievements, Some Say Taking Them as an Example Can Be Dangerous for Young People
Celebrities are usually had many talent and skill that celebrities use it for work in entertainment world. Celebrities are famous for glamour doesn’t because talent and skill. Will not someone for idol the people. Celebrities must have many talent and skill if they want to be idol. It is not just glamour not with talent and skill. Someone can be if she shows talent and skill. To be someone for example the people that inspires other person the best life before.
Some people agree with celebrities famous for glamour because other person likes them. Don’t care about it anything just follow the idol, want to be they without thinking how life the future is example about is Syahrini (artist in Indonesian) many children in Indonesian follow her, with her costume, with her talking and etc. I ever watched a competition in Indonesian children follow as Syahrini. She is still 4 age but her costume same as Syahrini noisy and adult. This is not good for children, because still children but her performance is adult result follow celebrities. And her celebrities is Syahrini always shows with costume of glamour, she always showed her wealth in media social example Instagram and then always performance with new costume and new style for example “Sanggul Khatulistiwa” she always showed her style to Infotainment but her achievement just little. Just now, Syahrini upload her picture and Syahrini together 2 man, they are kisses cheek Syahrini. This is not good, because Syahrini have many fans young people. She is don’t care about many fans young people always follow her. The second artist in Indonesian always showed her performance is Ashanty. Same as Syahrini always point to infotainment. She always sings with usual. Ashanty ever to invite an infotainment but not about her voice, just her performance because so glamour. Many celebrities in Indonesian just beautiful and famous because always glamour. But talent and skill better than other people is not celebrities.
And now how about are celebrities not in Indonesian? For example Lee Min Ho. He is from South Korea. He is actor and producer. He always make product to public. Not only financial capital he faces but have many talent and skill. I agree if celebrities in Indonesian same as Lee Min Ho have face handsome and many talent and skill. But I’m disagree celebrities in Indonesian just famous because of glamour and face.
This is not good for young people because always follow the idol without thinking the future in the next time. Better than before or more bad than before. I hope then young people not become celebrities is Indonesian for example life in the future because can destroy moral and the future.
- English as International Language 40
- The Habit for Eating, Ceremony, Wedding Include Costume, Traditional Food, Dance in My Hometown 50
- The Description of Education in My Hometown 50
- Celebrities are Usually Famous for Glamour and Wealth rather Than Their Achievements, Some Say Taking Them as an Example Can Be Dangerous for Young People 30
- The unforgettable memories that have impressed my life very much 71
Celebrities are usually had many talent and skill
Celebrities usually had many talents and skills
Sentence: Don't care about it anything just follow the idol, want to be they without thinking how life the future is example about is Syahrini artist in Indonesian many children in Indonesian follow her, with her costume, with her talking and etc.
Description: A verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to be and they
Sentence: She is still 4 age but her costume same as Syahrini noisy and adult.
Description: A noun, singular, proper is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to Syahrini and noisy
Sentence: This is not good for children, because still children but her performance is adult result follow celebrities.
Description: The fragment because still children is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace still with adjective
Description: The fragment result follow celebrities is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace follow with verb, past tense
And her celebrities is Syahrini always shows with
And her celebrities is Syahrini who always shows with
Sentence: Just now, Syahrini upload her picture and Syahrini together 2 man, they are kisses cheek Syahrini.
Description: The fragment Syahrini upload her is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace upload with verb, past tense
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to kisses and cheek
She is don't care about many fans
She doesn't care about many fans
Sentence: Many celebrities in Indonesian just beautiful and famous because always glamour.
Description: The fragment because always glamour is rare
Sentence: I agree if celebrities in Indonesian same as Lee Min Ho have face handsome and many talent and skill.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to face and handsome
Sentence: Better than before or more bad than before.
Description: The fragment than before or is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace before with adjective
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 32 15
No. of Words: 454 350
No. of Characters: 2185 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.616 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.813 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.484 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.188 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.342 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.466 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.241 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5