Governments should control the amount of violence in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there are many violent scenes in the media like television programs, movies, books etc. It has been an argument that governments should tighten the control of the amount of violence in these media. I totally agree with this view and will discuss the details in this essay by analyzing the both sides of this issue.
Admittedly, certain degree of violence in the media is acceptable by majority of adults. Some adults might have the habits to look at such violent scenes through TV or movie, for example, some movies with topic of war are very successful, and some of them even achieved the Oscar rewards. These programs enrich the variety of the content of media and meet certain audiences’ requirements.
However, the negative impacts of the violence in the media are also obvious. Firstly, it is not a good moral sample for children to follow with. Children normally don't have mutual judgement by themselves, such violent scenes might guide children into a wrong way, even lead them to commit crimes in a high possibility. For instance, many criminals have been proved that they are negatively impacted by some violent media during their childhood. Secondly, the violent scenes show negative impact on people's mental health, especially for women, it might make people feeling depressed and upset. This is really not good for building a harmony society. Furthermore, people have different tolerant level about the violence degree, thus violent degree should be indicated clearly on the programs in media, so audience can make their own decision to watch it or not.
In conclusion, although some people might have the interest to see some violent scenes, governments should play a proactive role in controlling the amount of violence in the media as well as establishing the classification process base on the violent level, thus the negative impacts to the public can be avoided.
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Comments
thanks, how about i change
thanks, how about i change like this:
Secondly, the violent scenes show negative impact on people's mental health, especially for women, with making people depressed and upset.
Secondly, the violent scenes show negative impact on people's mental health, especially for women, in terms of depressed and upset influence to people.
are these revidions correct? thank you very much.
Secondly, the violent scenes
Secondly, the violent scenes show negative impact on people's mental health, especially for women, by making people depressed and upset.
the second sentence is OK.
Thank you.
Thank you.
may I understand clearly that my score is estimated at 7 or 6.5? if i want to achieve a higher score, which areas i should focus on? thank you again.
as well as establishing the classification process base on the violent level,
as well as establishing the classification process based on the violent level,
Sentence: Secondly, the violent scenes show negative impact on people's mental health, especially for women, it might make people feeling depressed and upset.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and feeling
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 312 350
No. of Characters: 1543 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.203 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.946 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.49 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.602 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.357 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5