Many countries are currently witnessing an increase in criminal activity among young people. Discuss reasons for this phenomenon and suggest ways to deal with the problem.
“Young people, young blood” that is a piece of Roma Irama’s song lyric-the king of dangdut music in Indonesia. That song was so famous in 1990s. In that song, he told about how important young people’s spirit for developing country. This so inspiring many youth in Indonesia, at that time. But, today those youngsters is gone. They are replaced by many trouble makers in young age. Can my country back to past era? Why this can be happened in my country, today? What will happened to my country, if this continue happen?. Honestly, as Indonesian, Those questions make I apprehensive, so I decide to write this essay to find the solution for this problem.
Bad culture attacks youths. The worst culture that attacks teenagers is drugs. Drugs came from England, and have imported since 1700s. Drugs are easy to be found in this era. Drugs cause many distractions for young generation. According to POLDA’ s file, 3000 youths die every day because of drugs. Moreover, POLDA handles 1000 drugs crime cases that involve youths per month. If this going to be continue, maybe ten years later, Indonesia will lack of young leaders.
We are less in filtering bad culture. This can be proven by many weakness of obligation that related to porn activity. As Indonesian know, Porn activities are illegal in Indonesia-free sex, brothels, sex crime to teenagers. For example, judge just gives three years punishment in prison for rape cases. This penalty is not enough to stop porn activity between youths. For all we know, teenagers have big passion in trying new things, especially in sex. Honestly, Pancasila, today, as base of country’s moral is unable to counter many bad cultures. Religion, also, is left by teenagers. They prefer to choose bad modern culture. Nowadays, young people will feel right when they do the wrong thing and feel wrong when they do the right thing.
I think, the solution for this problem is only one, we have to make youths realize that they live for big mission. Mission to be human. A human that has responsibility to care this world. Parents, as the closest persons to youth, should be the best partners for youth in shaping humanity character. Human awareness also, has to be given since in primary school. Teachers in school have to show how big this world, and we are the part of it. Medias also have to reduce the unqualified programs, and change with many good growths of country to motivate young generation. Of course, they also have to show how disgusting the crime, not only in news but also in all programs-film, reality show.
To sum up, honestly, many problems out there threaten young people. However, if we realize that it is our responsibility, youth crime will be reduced dramatically. All societies’ layers must help to overcome this problem. All parents, teachers, polices, even priests have to co-operate and hold hands to safe our world by saving young generation.
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- Many countries are currently witnessing an increase in criminal activity among young people. Discuss reasons for this phenomenon and suggest ways to deal with the problem. 77
today those youngsters is gone.
today those youngsters are gone.
Sentence: What will happened to my country, if this continue happen?.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and happened
Sentence: Honestly, as Indonesian, Those questions make I apprehensive, so I decide to write this essay to find the solution for this problem.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to I and apprehensive
Sentence: The worst culture that attacks teenagers is drugs.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and drugs
Sentence: Of course, they also have to show how disgusting the crime, not only in news but also in all programs-film, reality show.
Description: The tag an adjective is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to disgusting and the
and hold hands to safe our world by saving young generation.
and hold hands to save our world by saving young generation.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Words: 494 350
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.35 21.0
Less content, more polished sentences wanted.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 40 15
No. of Words: 494 350
No. of Characters: 2320 1500
No. of Different Words: 266 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.714 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.696 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.412 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.189 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.216 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.396 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5