Many people visit museums when they travel to the new place. Why do you think people visit museums? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is certainly true to say that, travel is becoming more popular in recent years, and considered as an important pleasure for the large number of people. Presently, a proportion of people prefer to visit museums when they travel to a new country. Here, I would like to account for the reasons behind this happening.
Multifarious points throw light on the above mentioned statement. First and foremost, when people are visiting a new country, it is fruitful to see the museum in that country, in order to relish their general knowledge. In other words, the museums are often reflecting the history of a country. As they contain several manuscripts, painting, statues and so on. What is more, the museums are considered as a precious historical and cultural aspect of every nation. Therefore, they are highly appreciated by large number of the masses. For example, the national museum of Egypt, is a valuable source of information about ancient Egyptian civilization. That is why every visitor to the Egypt probably will visit this museum. Moreover, many people are amused when they visit museums and such places. Thus, it is considered as an entertainment tool beside their historical significance.
Further emphasizing over my view, the museums are generally attracting the people. In fact, in several countries the museums are located in a city center or in a historical building which are luring many people to see it. In addition to that, visiting the museums are enhancing the patriotic feeling of the citizens. To be specific, the museums are considered as a historical record of the country.Therefore,when people are visiting the museums they are participating in a pride of nation.
To recapitulate, from aforementioned points, we should not underestimate the role of the museum in a society. Therefore, I believe that, due to their historical and cultural role, the people will continue enjoying the museums.
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flaws: 1. Need to separate
flaws:
1. Need to separate local citizens and foreigners in the third paragraph.
2. Don't just list those ideas, need to expand your ideas like this:
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Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 313 350
No. of Characters: 1559 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.206 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.981 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.82 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.474 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.099 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
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