More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay topics:

More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, cars and other items.
What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

We have witnessed a growing number of people who desire to purchase branded products. In this essay, I will look into the reasons for this phenomenon and elaborate below.

There are certainly some reasons and some of them are relatively obvious. As a result of economy boost, people are becoming more richer than ever. With more disposable income in their hands, they are able to afford many branded products such as perfumes from CK and GTR-Skyline from Nissan to match their social status. Another reason is that people are influenced by advertisements. Commercial advertisement are elaborately produced to captivate the attention of customers. By simply exaggerating the products on television, customer would tend to purchase the famous products from shopping malls. As a result, the more advertisements occurs to the public, they more customers would be attracted.

I am not sure as whether this is a positive development or not. On the one hands, it results in a thriving job market. As the demand of the people is increasing more than ever, manufactures will need to employ more workers to operate the machines while more salesmen are hired by the stores to maximize the profits. This also creates various opportunities for the jobless. On the other hands, it is a wasteful lifestyle. A host of women, in most cases, influenced by the advertisements, tend to purchase new dresses and discard the old one which wanted to have more unique appearances only. Consequently, this certainly cultivates a bad habit.

In conclusion, people prefer branded products because they are richer and affected by the commercial advertisements. This brings both positives and negatives in this development.

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people are becoming more richer than ever.
people are becoming much richer than ever.
people are becoming more rich than ever.

Sentence: As a result, the more advertisements occurs to the public, they more customers would be attracted.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, post-determiner
Suggestion: Refer to they and more

flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.02 0.07
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.275 0.35

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1387 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.081 4.6
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 7.581 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.275 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.459 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.02 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5