Most developed countries spend a large proportion of their health budgets on expensive medical technology. This money should be spent instead on health education to keep people well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Most developed countries spend a large proportion of their health budgets on expensive medical technology. This money should be spent instead on health education to keep people well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Whether or not rich countries should spend a large amount of health budgets on investing in advanced medical technology to be a hotly debated issue. There are those who argue that it is esstential to use money to educate people to be aware of maintainance of their health. To my mind, I do not completely with this viewpoint for several reasonable arguments.

More and more serious diseases have appeared and become a high risk of human beings. To make sure to diagnose exactly the symptoms as well as the causes of the diseases, it is crucial to have advanced technologies such as MRI machine to examine the medical results. Thanks to modern technology, doctors are able to jump to conclusion and have appropriate solutions to deal with serious diseases such as stroke, diabetes and cancers. Moreover, doctors also can perform complex operations to safe patients due to advanced techology.

However, government should concern more about saving up money from state budget for preventing infectious diseases. This also considered as a way of indispensable measure to limit the diseases spreading over the community as well as educate people to be more concious to protect their health. What is more, leaflets need printing and delivering to people to guide how to make balance in their diet, how to have better immune system as well as what kinds of food they should enjoy to have better metabolism. This information is valuable to broaden their mind in keeping their health.

It seems to me that, government should reconcile the need for investment of modern techonology in the medical field with concern for policies of popularisation to prevent the spreading diseases as well as keeping their health. This is regarded as a well-balanced policy in developed countries.

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2014-09-07 nguyenkhaccuong 67 view
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Whether or not rich countries should spend a large amount of health budgets on investing in advanced medical technology to be a hotly debated issue.
Whether or not rich countries should spend a large amount of health budgets on investing in advanced medical technology is a hotly debated issue.

Sentence: There are those who argue that it is esstential to use money to educate people to be aware of maintainance of their health.
Error: esstential Suggestion: essential
Error: maintainance Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Moreover, doctors also can perform complex operations to safe patients due to advanced techology.
Error: techology Suggestion: technology

Sentence: This also considered as a way of indispensable measure to limit the diseases spreading over the community as well as educate people to be more concious to protect their health.
Error: concious Suggestion: conscious

Sentence: It seems to me that, government should reconcile the need for investment of modern techonology in the medical field with concern for policies of popularisation to prevent the spreading diseases as well as keeping their health.
Error: popularisation Suggestion: popularization
Error: techonology Suggestion: technology

flaws:
a lot of 'as well as'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 292 350
No. of Characters: 1453 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.134 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.976 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.749 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.32 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.562 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5