One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?
Over the last few years, the number of diseases has increased and people often get sick. A growing number of people uphold a view that besides the technology, medical care has also developed and continues to develop. Medical care brings more advantages due to its quick development. I think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages. In this essay, I am going to support my point of view with examples.
First of all, in the past, older people did not often go to the hospitals, or if they went because of their illness, at that time doctors could not make an accurate diagnosis. In addition to this, their treatment took for a long time. On the contrary, nowadays, the proportion of such kind of people in diverse ages, notably teenagers who frequently go to the hospitals has risen. The causes of their disease are often connected with climate change or air pollution. Thanks to medical technology, doctors can easily find which disease it is and make an accurate diagnosis on that. It means that medical care gives a chance to people to live longer.
On the other hand, making a diagnosis is not always simple, because technology is not developed enough to do it. As a result, sometimes a tiny minority of ill people can die at an early age.
To sum up, despite the fact that medical technology does not developed fully, I strongly believe that it brought many advantages. In the following decades, it is going to continue to develop, and the advantages of it can outweigh disadvantages, also.
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teenagers who frequently go to the hospitals has risen.
teenagers who frequently go to the hospitals have risen.
flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 9
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 262 350
No. of Characters: 1217 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.023 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.645 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.612 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.92 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.051 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5