With the pressure on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjec

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With the pressure on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, academically success lays the foundation of prosperous future for the students. It looks a debatable question that extra subjects like physical education and cookery should be remained or removed from the study of pupils to achieve the goal. In my opinion, administration should not eliminate non-academic contents because they teach children heath and co-operation.

In the educates life, physical fitness plays a vital role. When a child do exercise by playing soccer and cricket , these activities increase blood circulation, muscle tone and release the stress form mind. For instance, today’s science has proved that students who do work out achieve their targets in their life comfortably. This is one of two important reasons why I am in the favor of these fields of branch of knowledge.

In athletics and food stuffs, all the learners require a solid communication to work together. In sports such as crickets, the youngsters act as a team because when they act like a group then the percentages of victory step-up. For playing as squad, young person needs a firm action. Through these team sports, students learn how to co-operate to reach a common aim. For example, my father told me that he is successful in business since he acquired many new skills in school and university and these made him a good team player.

To sum up, additional subjects teach the very essential skill health and co-operation. Therefore,I strongly believe that these topics should not be taken out from study because wellness and team work must be part of every person’s life. As a result, parent should encourage their babies to participate in these activities from their whole heart.

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Sentence: In the modern world, academically success lays the foundation of prosperous future for the students.
Description: The fragment , academically success is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace academically with adjective

When a child do exercise
When a child does exercise

flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.028 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 279 350
No. of Characters: 1382 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.087 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.953 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.671 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.009 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.028 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5