Some people believe that the pressure of modern life is having a negative effect on families.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

Some people believe that the pressure of modern life is having a negative effect on families.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is obviously that Family played an important role in society. There are those who consider that new technology in the development world will enhance benefit for family life. However, in my view, I strongly disagree with that idea due to negative impacts of urbanization that ruin to stainable foundation of family that I explode below.

The main reason lead to the current family lifestyle has changed toward negative trend that is associated with many nervous tensions from the workload, which is hugely impact to resident life. Take for example, in many city where children under 18 year who have been deprived of love and attention from their parent because their parent always leave home early and come back late. Consequence, the mature people have missed an important opportunities to motivate their kids positively developing both mental and physical aspect at the first period in life.

In addition, depend virtually on high technology is also an important factor effect to human communicate, especially in family. By the massive development of internet in the world, it is popular that instead of spend time to gather and relax with the family like a past, many young take almost time for using online entertainment such as game and social network while their parent use e-mail as an advance method of communicating with their children. As a result, member of family become to be more deeply separated and increase the negative influence of the growth psychology of children.

However, not only there are negative impacts, but the modern society also contribute to positive outcomes on household. Once aspect possibility is for women to have more ability to share home chores easily to other member within the supporting of high- technological equipment. Therefore, members of family can have more free time to enjoy together.

In conclusion, I believed that the rapid development of contemporary lifestyle have created many negative contributions to family relationship. People begin to decrease attention to family and less close because of rising workload and using new technologies to communicate. In this case, beside business the parents should have more time for kids to promote the emotions between members of family.

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2015-07-31 trasua070187 60 view

Comments

The main reason lead to the current family lifestyle has changed toward negative trend
The main reason which leads to the current family lifestyle has changed toward negative trend

to motivate their kids positively developing both mental and physical aspect at the first period in life.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

depend virtually on high technology is also an important factor effect to human communicate,
depending virtually on high technology is also an important factor affecting to human's communication,

not only there are negative impacts, but the modern society also contribute to positive outcomes on household.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

the rapid development of contemporary lifestyle have created
the rapid development .. has created

Sentence: However, in my view, I strongly disagree with that idea due to negative impacts of urbanization that ruin to stainable foundation of family that I explode below.
Error: stainable Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Why you talk about the advantages in the fourth paragraph? try this pattern:

paragraph 1: introduction

paragraph 2: admittedly, some advantages

paragraph 3: however, disadvantage 1

paragraph 4: disadvantage 2

paragraph 5: conclusion.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1844 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.136 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.679 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.421 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.593 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5