Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are some opinions around the community regarding the need of an unpaid community service such as working for a charity, helping and improving the neighbourhood or even teaching sports to the younger children, to be required as one of the high school extracurricular programmes.
Nowadays, children's world are taken over the globalization and modernization which involves the frequent use of internet, smartphones, games and social media. Which with no doubt are giving deep and serious impact to their social life. The concept of globalization and modernization that are so tempting for the young generation are giving them bad influences on their childhood. Therefore, schools around the world must come with a great idea to overcome this problem, and an unpaid community service may become one of the key to the solution.
Being part of an unpaid community service are hoped to bring changes to the life of the young generation. Simply by doing a variant activity to help those in need such as working for a charity, helping and improving the neighbourhood environment, or even by teaching young children about sports, arts, and music can help them improve their existence in this world in many ways. Not only gaining benefits and deep impacts for themselves but also to those communities they have helped while doing the community service.
When I was in high school, community service have not existed in the school programmes, may be in some schools it does, but not in my school. Luckily, in University I did experience an unpaid community service which involves variety of activities in the community of different cities in South Sulawesi. After being a part of the unpaid community service I have gained a lot of life changing experience, and I realize those experience have changed my mindset on helping people and being humanity to others.
Seeing the great influnces of an unpaid community service could bring to the young generation's lives, I do believe that it must be obligated as one of the high school programmes.
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Sentence: There are some opinions around the community regarding the need of an unpaid community service such as working for a charity, helping and improving the neighbourhood or even teaching sports to the younger children, to be required as one of the high school extracurricular programmes.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to school and extracurricular
children's world are taken over the globalization and modernization
children's world is taken over by the globalization and modernization
The concept of globalization and modernization that are so tempting for the young generation are giving them bad influences on their childhood.
The concept...is giving them bad influences on their childhood.
Being part of an unpaid community service are hoped to bring
Being part of an unpaid community service is hoped to bring
community service have not existed
community service has not existed
Sentence: Seeing the great influnces of an unpaid community service could bring to the young generation's lives, I do believe that it must be obligated as one of the high school programmes.
Error: influnces Suggestion: influences
flaws:
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
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No. of Words: 336 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.281 4.7
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 9.46 7.5
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